


Think Fast, Act Faster

by protectchatnoir



Series: Think Fast [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Eventual reveal, Gen, Mild Angst, Mild Gore, Mild Langauge, Okay Maybe Not So Mild, a few puns, a little bit of fluff here and there, a lotta depression and anxiety, always read the notes before chapters, if it is gory gore I'll warn beforehand, not rlly gory gore tho so don't worry, some hospital scenes, that's where I warn about worse bits, this accidentally got super angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-01-25 17:05:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 32,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12536816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/protectchatnoir/pseuds/protectchatnoir
Summary: It's hard to balance being a superhero with living an ordinary life. And when Chat Noir is injured in battle and things start spiralling downwards, Adrien Agreste doesn't know if he can cope.Meanwhile Marinette begins to suspect her classmate and crush, falling for someone else in the process. But maybe her feelings for Chat Noir aren't new. Maybe she'd loved him all along.A tale of falling in love and falling to rock bottom.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette's heart is broken. But somehow she still sees a little bit of magic in the world.
> 
> Adrien needs to find a way to apologise for what he did. There's nowhere for him to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Here it is, my first published fanfic! If it works ;)  
> I hope you enjoy it! Find me on tumblr at protectchatnoir or kittycatcheshire if you want to chat about this story or these losers in general, and if you have any questions.  
> So I put angst in the tags because there is gonna be some pretty dark stuff in here. Okay I really isn't that bad but I kinda felt like a trigger warning was necessary, only because I understand that some subjects are sensitive and can be upsetting. Anyhow, it's mostly fine, and I will put a big warning in any of the worse chapters. 
> 
> Please excuse the fact that this is a work in progress, so I'm still learning and open to advice ;) also I'm not 100% sure where this fic will go. So if I feel the tags need updating I will let you know, and if you feel they need updating then please tell me because I want to make sure this is enjoyable to read and doesn't upset anyone. Which I hope it won't! Anyways, big intro because chapter one, but the notes mostly won't be this long!! ;D
> 
> So, without further ado, enjoy!~
> 
> (Update: this fic updates Mondays and Fridays)

Chapter One

Adrien Agreste stood outside the Dupain-Cheng bakery, tapping his foot in contemplation, wondering whether he should enter or not. The lower part of the building was dark, closed up for the night; it was early evening, late October, and a thin mist draped itself over the streets of Paris. The pale moon was creeping silently up the dusky lilac sky, a thin crescent barely visible in the dying light of the sun.  
Adrien stared at his reflection in the bakery's windows. He had to talk to Marinette; he had to apologise. But he couldn't do it like this.  
No one knew his secret identity, not even his closest friends, so it would make no sense to her if Chat Noir suddenly turned up at her house, apologising for breaking her heart.  
So Adrien slipped around the side of the building, checked there was no one around and muttered, 'Plagg. Claws in.'  
He felt the familiar sensation of detransforming, and Plagg, his kwami, came spiralling out of his ring, landing with a thud on the cold concrete walk.  
Plagg zipped back up until he was eye-level with the boy. The kwami paused to take in his surroundings before whining, 'What are you doing, kid? Aren't you supposed to be on patrol, or something?'  
Plagg generally wasn't very helpful.  
'Yeah... but Ladybug never showed up, and I need to talk to Marinette, and...' Adrien trailed off. He didn't want to admit it, not to Plagg, of all people. He didn't want to admit that he had nowhere to go. He didn't want to go home.  
The tiny god narrowed his green eyes and apparently decided to take a moment away from being sarcastic and annoying. 'Kid... are you... okay?'  
His attempt at being nice had come off as stiff and awkward, so Adrien just sighed and rolled his eyes.  
'Whatever. Whatever, I just... yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Well, I guess I should be... doing something, so... claws out?'  
'You don't sound too sure about that, kid. Plus, I haven't had any dinner. I need cheese!'  
Grimacing, Adrien reached into his bag and pulled out a piece of camembert, and thrust it at Plagg.  
'Eat up buddy, I have... serious... stuff to do.'  
The black cat kwami wolfed down the cheese in one bite, and Adrien yelled, 'Plagg, claws out!' In a somewhat half-hearted manner.

***

Marinette stood on her balcony, her bare feet freezing again the cold floor. The moon was steadily raising in the darkening sky, and lights from all around Paris were flickering on. Soon the city would look as if a giant had trailed fairylights across the streets, looping around the buildings and up the Eiffel Tower.  
Marinette imagined what it be like to be on a plane right now, leaving the lights and bustle of the city behind. Taking off into a place where she could take her time, and watch the sunset every night; and get up early to watch it rise again, with nothing weighing her down. No expectations.  
The teenage girl loved Paris, but part of her longed for a place where there was no responsibility, and no heartbreak. Being a superhero didn't exactly help.  
The bluenette cast her mind back to this afternoon's events:  
They had just gone back to lessons after lunch break, and she and Alya were already sitting in their seats, waiting for class to begin.  
Adrien, the love of her life, had sauntered in with Nino. He looked super cool and casual, and he was wearing he scarf Marinette had knitted for him. He didn't know it was her who'd made it, but anyhow. _I'm going to do it, Alya! _she'd whispered to her friend.__  
_I'm gonna tell Adrien how I feel!_  
Alya had given her a thumbs up, but inside she was probably rolling her eyes; every time Mari tried to tell her crush about her feelings, she flipped out.  
Nino and Adrien took their seats in front of the girls, chatting about something or other that happened during break.  
Marinette cleared her throat. The guys turned to look at her, and she could already feel the blush creeping into her cheeks.  
_Um. Ha, uhh, hi! I mean... Hi. yeah. Um, Adrien... I just kinda wanted to tell you, I, um, really like you!_ She knew she was probably bright red by now, but Alya looked impressed with how non-awkward that had been (it could have been a lot worse).  
But Nino looked as if he was having an extreme case of second-hand embarrassment and pretended to play on his phone.  
Adrien smiled his oh-so-beautiful sunshine smile.  
_I like you too, Marinette!_ he'd said. _You're an awesome friend!_ It was bad enough that she'd literally just been friend-zoned, and Adrien was completely oblivious. She could have just taken that, and shut up. But no, she had to go and make it even worse.  
_Um, actually, I kinda meant... I like like you. Like... like like._ By this point the bluenette had lost track of how many likes that was and she was getting kind of confused. Adrien looked confused too. Which was probably good. It was probably good if he had no idea what just went down. But then, just as Mari was about to utter a quick 'haha nevermind!', his face changed from 'What the Fresh Heck?!' to 'Oh. Ohhhhhh. Oh. Ohohoh.'

  
_Oh._ said Adrien. _Ohhhhhh. Oh. Ohohoh._ Yup, by this point it was too late to turn back, but Marinette didn't feel like she could really say anything else either. So she just sat there in awkward silence.  
_I... I'm sorry, Marinette. But... I'm in love with someone else._

His words throbbed in her head. Her heart felt utterly broken.  
Up until today, Marinette Dupain-Cheng had heard stories about heartbreak, but that was just in the books and movies, right?  
But now she knew. It wasn't just a story. Her heart felt as if it was being torn into a hundred tiny pieces. And now she was expected to pick them all up _ _._ _

'Marinette, you have to come inside, it's cold! And it's getting late. You need sleep, Marinette!' It was Tikki, her kwami, gently tugging on the bottom of her jacket.  
Marinette nodded, but she stayed for another few minutes in the peaceful solitude of the night. There were barely any people around in this part of the city, so the chilly October air was quiet apart from the low buzz and hum of distant traffic.  
A silent tear slid down her cheek and over the edge of the balcony, cascading like a shooting star to the street below. Before getting her superpowers, Marinette had always had a feeling that there was magic in this world, and it was moments like this which made her believe. Watching a single teardrop, perfectly glistening like a crystal of ice, dropping down through the darkness. It felt like time had literally slowed down, and in this one tiny moment which should've seemed like a meaningless nanosecond to anyone else, Marinette saw the world in a different way. All sound suddenly stopped, only a piercing white noise echoed in her ears. She could feel every whisper of the breeze, the movement of a bat silhouetted above her, even the shattering sound of her tear hitting the pavement beneath her. And with that, the magic was over, and time regained its usual pace.  
And yet, in the back of her mind, the white noise returned, this time with Adrien's words ringing in her head.

_________________"I'm sorry Marinette. I'm in love with someone else._ " _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Little did he know how far from the truth he was.

And little did she know how much he loved her.

Well, her alter-ego, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was chapter one! I hope you liked it ;)
> 
> Find me on tumblr at protectchatnoir and kittycatcheshire :D


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette is late - very, very late. Which isn't unusual for her. But with Tikki missing, she can't transform. Things are made even more complicated when an akuma attacks.
> 
> Adrien anxiously awaits Marinette's arrival at school, waiting to make the awkward situation less... well... awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two, whoop whoop! This should be fun.
> 
> Enjoy!~

Chapter Two

An alarm blared, jolting Marinette out of her dream.  
_That doesn't make sense,_ she thought. _I didn't even set my alarm..._  
As the girl regained her senses and shook off the sleepy confusion that clung to her mind, she realised that other things didn't make sense either. For example, her bed felt incredibly hard. And her blanket wasn't covering her. And where were her pillows? A cool early-morning breeze tickled her face and played with her hair. Had she left the window open?  
Marinette slowly stood up and stretched. Her neck was stiff from the lack of pillows and she was cold.

Really cold.

  
As the alarm continued to scream, realisation suddenly dawned on her; she was outside.  
_Oh..._ the bluenette thought to herself. _I must have fallen asleep on my balcony._ Last night, Tikki had tried to get her to come inside, and she was about to, and then... Marinette couldn't remember anything after that. Had she been crying? When did she even lie down?  
Rubbing her eyes and trying to gather her thoughts together, she took a step towards the edge and leant over the railing. Below her, a bright yellow car hunched in the street, blasting a loud siren. Well, that explained the alarm.  
In the sky, an equally bright yellow sun glared down upon Paris. Judging from the position of the sun, it seemed to be late morning at least. Marinette groaned. She was probably late for school.  
A lot of mornings when going to school, she hurried out of the house before seeing her parents, so they'd probably assumed she had left already.  
'Tikki?' the bluenette whisper-shouted, not wanting to draw too much attention from passers-by.

'Tikki! Where are you?'  
Her kwami was nowhere to be seen. Well, she'd have to find her later. The main priority right now was getting to school.  
The teenage girl dashed back into her bedroom and pulled a brush through her tangled hair, before fixing it back into her trademark pigtails. She hurriedly washed her face and grabbed some deodorant, then rushed down her stairs into the kitchen. Her parents were not around; they must have already started working.  
Marinette slipped through the bakery as quietly as possible so that they didn't notice her, and question why she was so late.  
As she streaked down the road in a desperate attempt to get to school, the bluenette dug inside her back to find her phone.

ALYA (8:46am): Hey, are you gonna be here soon??

ALYA (8:59am): Maaaaaaaaari! Classes are starting soon!!! Where r u?

ALYA (9:32am): Where the heck r u?!?! R u ill? r u ok? or did u just sleep in again ;)

ALYA (11:21am): ok if u don't reply soon I s2g I'm just gonna assume u were abducted by aliens

ALYA (11:22am): ;)

Marinette rolled her eyes to see how many texts Alya had sent, and there were also a couple of voicemails. It kind of cheered her up though, to see how much her friend cared about her. There were messages from someone else too.

ADRIEN (11:30am): Hi. I hope you're alright, because you're not in school. Which you already knew. Because you're not in school. So you knew that already. Anyway, I hope you're okay.

ADRIEN (11:33am): If you feel okay do you think you could text me? Or call. I kinda wanted to talk to you. But you're not in school.

ADRIEN (11:36am): I'm sorry, I said that like six times.

ADRIEN (11:37am): Anyway, please text me soon?

The events of yesterday afternoon started coming back to her; so far she'd been trying to forget about it all morning. But now it was kind of hard to avoid, so Marinette did the only thing she could think to do: she replied to Adrien's texts.

MARINETTE (2:11pm): Hi. I'm coming to school now.

It was only after she'd sent the message that she realised the time. It was a lot later that she thought it was, and she was very, very late.

_***_

_Ping!_

Silence fell over the class. Miss Bustier paused mid-sentence and everyone turned to stare at Adrien.  
'Mr. Agreste,' the teacher began. 'Please turn your phone off during lesson, or at least turn the sound off.'  
'Sorry,' Adrien muttered, reaching into his bag to turn it off.  
'Er- Adrien! You can check after lesson.'  
He glanced up at Miss Bustier, his eyes wide with innocence.  
'I was going to turn it off!' he protested.  
She frowned a little, but then nodded in approval.  
So he took out his phone to turn it on, but it didn't stop him from quickly glancing at his messages; it couldn't hurt, right? Plus, it could be urgent.

MARINETTE (2:11pm): Hi. I'm coming to school now.

 

Adrien frowned. It wasn't unusual for his classmate to be late, but turning up later than two in the afternoon? That was strange, even for Marinette.

Just as he was turning his phone off, the door swung open with such force that it bounced off the wall. Marinette Dupain-Cheng skidded into the classroom. Her eyes were wild in a sort of confused panic, and she seemed out of breath.  
Miss Bustier looked furious. 'Do you have any idea how late you are, Miss Dupain-Cheng? Take yourself to the principal's office immediately!'

The teenage girl shook her head violently whilst trying to form some kind of sentence. 'Can't... akuma... outside school... water... people being hurt!'  
The teacher's expression changed from anger to worry, and the whole class immediately went into a state of panic.  
'Oh, goodness! In that case, students, go home, or somewhere safe, and try to stay out of danger!'

Everyone rushed out of the room, but Adrien pulled Marinette to one side.  
'Marinette! Where were you?'  
She stared awkwardly at her shoes. 'Um... I fell asleep...'  
'Okay, well, I need to talk to you, but... damn, I have something to do. So I'll call you later okay? Oh, err, can you tell me about the akuma?'  
The bluentte shrugged. 'It's an elemental akuma. They flooded a couple of streets. It could get worse though, I think they have fire powers too. But, don't worry about it. I'm sure Ladybug... Ladybug and Chat Noir will show up to fix things.'  
Adrien nodded. 'Yeah! Okay. Thanks, um, I should be going then. Going... somewhere safe! So bye! Um, stay safe, okay?'  
She nodded.

With that, he ran from the classroom. He hated leaving Marinette on her own in potential danger, but as soon as he transformed he could go back to help her.

The teenage boy skidded round the corner and slammed his shoulder into the door to the toilets, pushing it open.  
'Plagg, there's an akuma attack! We need to transform- claws out!'  
The kwami flew out from inside his jacket, yawned and stretched.  
'Seriously? Right now? But I'm tired.'  
Adrien growled. 'Plagg, this is no time for your stupidity! I said CLAWS OUT!'  
~  
Adrien dashed out of the toilets, this time not as Adrien Agreste but as Chat Noir.  
He heard the sound of screaming coming from what sounded like a couple of blocks away.  
But instead of following his instincts and heading towards the sound of people in danger who legitimately needed his help, Chat instead went back to his classroom to help Marinette.  
'Is anyone in here?' he yelled as he burst into the room, pretending he was just trying to get everyone to evacuate the building, as if he had no idea that Marinette was in there.  
He was surprised to see that she was sitting at her usual desk, copying down notes from the board into her notebook.  
'Oh, hey Chat. I'm just catching up on work. Be out in a minute.'  
Adrien began to panic. What was she thinking?!  
'No, Mari- I mean, random, uh, citizen of Paris, c'mon! We have to go! Like, now!!'  
Marinette sighed and started packing her things, making no attempt to hurry.  
'But I'm not in immediate danger, right?'  
Chat grabbed her bag in one hand and her arm in the other, dragging her out of the building. 'No, you're not. But some people are, and I need to go help them. But I can't do that til everyone's out of this building! So come on!'  
This seemed to bring Marinette back to her senses.  
'Right, of course. Sorry. Let's go.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was that. Marinette was being stupid. To be fair though she was stressed and not thinking straight. Forgive her. She is a sweet cinnamon roll. ;D  
> Hope you liked this chapter! Find me on tumboblr at protectchatnoir or kittycatcheshire. Mostly the first one though, coz I pulled myself together and opened my askbox so you can send asks on both blogs now!! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette hurries to find Tikki so she can help defend Paris against Hawkmoth's latest akuma, Elfena.
> 
> Adrien fights Elfena as Chat Noir, but the story of the girl behind the akuma brings up unwanted doubts about his mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okie, well here's chapter three! Although this chapter isn't too bad I'm putting a warning here just in cases.
> 
> WARNING:  
> Mild violence, mention of death, loss of parent, neglect, abandonment, and without giving too much away, this chapter is kinda what starts the ball rolling for some depression-related stuff, but it's not too bad at the minute.  
> Oh and angeryness (totally spelt that right)
> 
> So there's the warning, in capital letters no less, so yeah. With that out of the way, enjoy the chapter!  
> (Ooh I'm adding that, while this chapter isn't very graphic at all I'm still putting the warning. Don't want people to read this without knowing what to expect, as I get that some stuff can be upsetting.)  
> ;)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Three

Marinette could have kicked herself for acting so stupid in front of Chat. What was she thinking?! She should have realised immediately that people were in danger, and she felt incredibly guilty for not trying to hurry. It was probably due to tiredness from sleeping in an uncomfortable position on her balcony, and stress from not being able to find Tikki.  
Because she couldn't transform when Tikki was missing. It was so frustrating! As she rushed down the street, the bluenette reached up to check if her earrings were still in. They were.  
Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, a forceful blast of icy wind hurled itself down the street, knocking Marinette to the ground. A few paces ahead of her, Chat turned, and ran back to help her up.  
'Listen,' he said urgently. 'I have to go take care of this akuma, but make sure you get to a safe place, okay?'  
She nodded before watching him scale the nearest building and bound off over the rooftops.  
Panic rose inside her as the realisation finally hit her like a brick wall: she couldn't transform. She actually couldn't transform. No Tikki meant no transforming, and no transforming meant no Ladybug. And no Ladybug meant...

She shook off thoughts of Paris falling into chaos, and Chat Noir potentially not being able to defeat the akuma.

There was only one thing Marinette could do right now, which was to go home and search for Tikki.  
~  
As soon as she got home, Marinette's parents greeted her with worried expressions.  
'Marinette!' her dad cried. 'Are you okay? We saw on the news that there was an attack!'  
She nodded but bolted up the stairs, shouting, 'I'm fine. But I'm tired, so... I'm gonna go take a nap!'  
The first part was true, and she wished the second part was; Marinette was exhausted. But there was no time to sleep.  
'Tikki! Where are you?!-'  
She was interrupted by a thudding noise from under the bed.  
Lying down on her stomach, the bluenette peered under her bed. There was something under there. She reached under and pulled it out: it was her diary box!  
Marinette quickly unlocked it, and Tikki flew out. The small red kwami had been squished in there along with the girl's journal.  
'Tikki! What on earth were you doing in there?!'  
'I don't know. After I told you to come inside yesterday, I came back in and then... I don't really know what happened after that. But I don't remember going into the box, and I don't remember going to sleep - I just woke up in there this morning! I've been stuck in there ever since.'  
The bluenette grabbed a cookie from her bag for Tikki to eat. 'Here, you must be starving!'  
She thought about last night as the kwami munched on the cookie.  
'That's strange... I don't remember going to sleep either. I woke up outside, on my balcony! What do you think it means?'  
Her kwami finished eating before saying, 'I don't know, Marinette. But it doesn't matter right now - I think someone's been akumatized!'  
The girl nodded. 'You're right, someone has. Let's go. Tikki, spots on!'

***

Chat watched from the rooftops as the akuma moved slowly down the street. It seemed to be a teenage girl, but she had vines and leaves trailing down her legs, and her hair was now fingers of flame, clogging the air with thick black smoke.  
As she walked, the akumatized girl thrust her hands in front of her, and water gushed from them. This partially flooded half of the street, with water around a foot deep in some places. Chat sprang into action.  
'Hey, Fireface! Over here!' He flipped onto the path in front of her, twirling his baton menancingly in his clawed hand. ' _Water_ you doing? You can't just flood the streets. You should know better!'  
The akuma growled. 'My name is Elfena! I have powers over the elements. So there!'  
'Wow, very threatening,' Chat muttered. 'You could've at least given my pun a little recognition. Y'know, what are you doing, water you doing- okay, it's not my best, but I'm _trying_. I don't have an _awful_ lot to work with right now. I mean, seriously-'

'Chat, what are you doing?! Grab her belt, it has to be where the akuma is!'

He whipped round to see Ladybug had arrive behind him.  
'Well, hi, Late-ybug, what took you so long?'

She rolled her eyes, threw her yo-yo and swung towards Elfena. The akuma braced herself for impact, but Ladybug flew past her, snatching the vine belt on her way past.  
Chat winked. 'Time to _pull the plug_ on this one.'  
She frowned. 'Chat, that wasn't even funny.'  
'You should _tap_ into my sense of humour, Lazy-bug!'  
Ladybug shot him a death glare. He threw his hands in the air. 'Okay, okay. If it doesn't _float your boat_ -'  
'Chat Noir, would you please stop making water puns?'  
'Alas, M'Lady,' he declared dramatically, 'That _ship_ has sailed.'  
She ignored him.  
'Well, that was surprisingly easy. I didn't even have to use my lucky charm!'  
She took the thick green vine belt in both hands and snapped it in two, causing a cascade of loose ivy leaves in the process.

Nothing happened.

Elfena cackled. 'You fool!'

Chat Noir rolled forward and landed next to her. 'Nice job, M'lady. I take it the akuma wasn't in the-'  
His accomplice gave him a withering look.  
'Sorry,' he sighed. 'Not helpful. But, uh...'- the leather-clad superhero fixed his gaze on a spot behind her shoulder- 'did you ever hear of out of the frying pan and into the- duck!'  
She frowned. 'Into the duck? That's not-'

Elfena's cackle turned into a crackle as she sent a ball of fire whooshing past them. Chat had ducked, taking Ladybug with him. They ended up sprawled on the ground with her on top of him. His head smacked against the hard concrete of the street. Meowch. But he put on a brave face so he could annoy Ladybug some more.  
He smirked. 'Did you ever hear of "thinking fast"?'

Another blazing jet of flame shot at them.

'Oh, here's one: did you ever hear of-'

'CHAT! Shut UP!' Ladybug yelled, rolling off him.

'... fighting fire with fire?'  
He jumped to his feet and scraped his baton across the concrete pavement, causing a small spark; and then grabbed the vine which used to be Elfena's belt, trying to light it with the sparks.

It didn't work.

'Chat, you're an idiot. Here,' Ladybug said, getting her yo-yo ready. 'Maybe I'll get something useful. Lucky Charm!'

...Well, the lucky charm turned out to be pretty lucky after all.  
She tossed the red and black spotted lighter to Chat Noir. 'I think it's pretty clear what you should do with this.'

Elfena surfed towards them on a small wave, and Chat lobbed the lighter at her head.  
It instantly knocked her out.

Ladybug whistled through her teeth. 'Not what I had in mind, but it works,' she muttered. 'Chat. What happened to fighting fire with fire?!'

'Sorry...' He rubbed the back of his neck. 'I just kind of reacted, okay, I didn't have time to think.'

She looked at him closer; he seemed hurt. 'You okay, Kitty?'

Chat grimaced.  
'Fine. I think the fireball just scorched my hair a little. I'm cool. C'mon, don't worry about me, we need to find the akuma and finish this thing.'

'Chat Noir, if you're hurt-'

'I said, I'm fine! Let's move, before she wakes up!'

He ran towards the elemental akuma, scanning her unconscious body for anything which could hold the dark power.  
'LB, over here! Look, she's wearing a locket.'  
Making sure to avoid the fiery hair trailing over her shoulders, Chat reached towards her neck and tugged on the leaf-shaped necklace. It came loose easily, and he dropped it to the ground before stomping on it.

A small purple and black butterfly flew out of the shards of broken locket.  
Ladybug used her powers to de-evilize the creature and set the butterfly free.  
Although they'd been to caught up in the fight to notice, a large crowd of people had gathered at the end of the street, including several reporters.  
She retrieved the lighter, threw it in the air and with a cry of 'Miraculous Ladybug!' everything was restored to normal. The damage was undone.

Then Ladybug went to talk to the reporters, whilst Chat Noir stayed to speak to the akuma victim. She was no longer unconscious.  
'Hey, are you okay?' he asked, crouching next to where she lay on the street.  
She looked confused. 'Where... Where am I?'  
'It's okay,' he reassured her, 'you got akumatized, which is why you can't remember how you got here. What's your name?'  
The colour drained from her face. 'My name's Elena... oh my gosh, I didn't hurt anyone, did I?'  
Chat shook his head. 'No, don't worry. The street was pretty much empty, so no one got hurt.'

  
Except him. His head was _throbbing_. But he wasn't about to tell her that.  
'Oh, this is yours.' He handed her the locket.  
She flipped it open; there was a picture of a woman in there, who looked similar to her. Having noticed Chat looking, she smiled sadly. 'It's my mother. There was a storm, and a flood, and it... it killed her. That's why I got akumatized, I think; the last thing I remember is wishing I had the power to control the natural elements.'

'Oh. I'm sorry. I know what it's... I mean... it must be hard, living without your mother. I'm... I'm sorry.'

She bowed her head in sadness.

'Hey, Elena... is there somewhere you can go now? I mean, do you want me to call someone, or something?'

Elena slowly stood up. 'No, thank you. I'll call my dad and go home. Thanks for everything, Chat Noir.'

The teenaged girl turned and left.

After she'd gone, Ladybug ran up behind him, having left the reporters behind.  
'Hey, Chat! Nice job on locating the locket!'  
She held out her fist expectantly.  
'Poun-'

'Yeah, sure, thanks. Right, I should go. Bye!!'  
Chat turned and ran and fast as he could away from her. His head hurt a _lot_ from hitting it on the ground.

As he moved, the wind whipped his face and he felt tears rolling down his cheeks. After a minute of running he ducked into an alleyway and detransformed, then sunk to the floor against the wall, his head on his knees.

Hearing Elena talk about her mother... it had made Adrien think of his own mother, and how he hadn't seen her for so long. He was crying freely now, sobbing into his jeans, probably soaking them. If Plagg was there, he didn't say amything; but knowing him, the kwami had probably flown off to pick mouldy food out of bins, or something.

But that girl had lost her mother for good. She was dead.  
At least Adrien had a chance of seeing his mom again. Even if it was a small chance. She was still alive.

He jumped to his feet with a sudden surge of anger, kicking an old rusting bicycle and sending it flying. It hit the wall opposite and bounced off before landing on the ground, the front wheel spinning in the air, squeaking as if in a state of panic.

The problem was- he didn't _know_ that. He didn't know that she was still alive. He didn't know if he'd ever even see her again, because she hadn't bothered. She hadn't bothered to call, or text, or write, or come to visit him.

She didn't care.

And neither did his father.

So, as far as he was concerned, he was on his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it, chapter three guys! Well this has been fun to write, nice knowing y'all, I'm running to hide now coz you guys will kill me next chapter. ;D


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette heads home after defeating Elfena. But she finds something that she didn't expect along the way.
> 
> Adrien is left confused after the fight. Nothing makes sense. When two friends find him he nearly lets slip his biggest secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa okay so here we have chapter four! This one was fun to write, I hope you enjoy reading it! I'm putting a warning in this one too because this is where it starts getting a little messy.
> 
> WARNING:  
> confusion and muddled thinking is kinda the main think going on here, injuries from battle, e.g. getting burnt but it's not a detailed description so don't worry, alcohol mention, drugs mention, hospital mention
> 
> If I missed anything let me know but I think that's everything. The alcohol and drug mentions are literally just that, mentions, but like I said before some people might not like reading about that or whatever so yknow I'm putting the warning there. Sorry if you find the warnings annoying, but it's better safe than sorry right? ;)

 

Chapter Four

 

Marinette was confused and kind of upset about Chat just running off like that; usually he was eager to hang around. And he hadn't even used his Cataclysm power, so he had plenty of time before turning back. 

It made no sense.

 

Although mostly the crowds had departed now, there were still a few people around. Her earrings where beeping and she had to find somewhere safe to transform. 

After running a couple of blocks Marinette found a small alleyway where she could change back.

'Spots off,' she whispered and detransformed. 

'Tikki! Chat was acting really strange and-' the bluenette was interrupted by a small choking noise a little way away. 'What was that?!'

'I don't know, Marinette,' said her kwami. 'Maybe you should go and investigate! I'll stay out of sight.'

The girl took a few cautious steps down the alley. It was getting quite late and the sun was going down, casting the narrow path into ominous shadows. 

She ventured towards the sound and the further she went, the darker it got. Marinette began to feel nervous. Pausing to let her eyes adjust slightly to the gloomy half-light, she listened out for the sound again.

This time it sounded more like sniffling. Was someone... crying?

It sounded quite close now, so Marinette dared to call out. 'Hello? Is someone there?' 

 

The noise stopped.

 

'Hello?' She kept moving forwards, stumbling a little as the sky got darker.

 

Finally she came out into another alleyway. There was someone slumped against the wall.

 

'...Adrien?!'

 

He looked up, his tear-streaked face blank with tiredness and confusion.

 

'Adrien... are you okay?'

 

 A choked sob escaped his throat and he buried his head in his knees again. 

 

'Adrien...'

 

Marinette crouched down next to him. 

'Are you...?' 

 

Her classmate seemed completely exhausted; although he was still conscious, he looked totally spaced out. The bluenette shook off the thought that he could be high, or drunk, or something. Adrien wasn't stupid, right?

 

'Listen, we... we should get out of here. It's late, it's getting really dark, and I think we-'

 

'Shhh.' His green eyes were suddenly very close to hers, staring intently as if he was trying to figure something out.

 

'Your eyes...' he declared, 'are  _very b_ lue.'

 

With that, he passed out.

~

MARINETTE (7:12pm): Alya????! I need help!!

 

MARINETTE (7:14pm): Alya!!!!! I'm with Adrien in a dark alley somewhere and I need help!!!!!?

 

ALYA (7:26pm): you're WHAT?!?!!

 

ALYA (7:27pm): please explain because I'm jumping to very uncomfortable conclusions!!??

 

MARINETTE  (7:28pm): I took a shortcut walking home. Got lost. found Adrien. he's unconscious, I think he might be drunk!?! I need help asap idk what to do

 

ALYA (7:30pm): I'll be right there..

 

MARINETTE (7:31pm): how??? you don't know where I am!!! I don't know where I am!!!!!!!!

 

MARINETTE  (7:34pm): Alya???!?

~

As the last traces of light faded from the sky, Marinette heard footsteps and instinctively jumped to her feet, ready to transform if she had to; Adrien was sleeping steadily now, so he wouldn't know. 

'Who's there?' she hissed. 

'Mari? It's me!' Alya stepped out of the shadows. 'Are you okay? You're not hurt, are you?'

The bluenette breathed a sigh of relief.

'No. But I'm worried about Adrien.' She nodded towards the sleeping boy.

'Hey, Alya- how did you know where to find me?'

 

'I downloaded a tracker on to your phone. It means I know where you are all the time!'

 

Marinette felt panic rise in her lungs, breath catching in her throat. 'What?!' she cried. 

If her friend knew where she was all of the time, that meant she probably knew about her secret identity as Ladybug!

'W- when did you put a tracker on my phone?!' 

 

'Yesterday,' Alya said sheepishly. 'C'mon Marinette, I'm not trying to stalk you or anything. But you get into the craziest situations. How am I supposed to live my life with the constant worry of you getting yourself in to some stupid danger somewhere?!'

 

'Alya!' she moaned. 'I love you! You're stupid as hell, but I love-'

 

'Where the hell am I? Oh my god, did I get kidnapped or something?!-'

It was Adrien, now awake and looking round frantically. 

'What the- Marinette? Alya? You got kidnapped too?!"

 

The two girls exchanged a look. Alya looked concerned.

'Adrien...' she began, sounding as if she was talking to a hurt puppy, or something. 'You're not in danger, for now. But we have to leave now, and get somewhere safe. Okay?'

He nodded.

'Can you stand up?'

Adrien nodded again and the brunette helped him to his feet.

 

***

 

Adrien stumbled along the dark path, leaning on someone's shoulder. His head felt fuzzy. 

There was someone else too.

 

They were asking him questions. 

 

But he felt confused himself. 

Were they the police? Then why were they outside? 

 

'Am I in trouble?' he slurred. 

The person he was leaning on stopped walking. 

'I don't know. Are you?' she replied.

Well _that_ answer didn't make much sense.

'Adrien, did you speak to anyone before Marinette found you? Did someone offer you something, to drink, maybe?'

 

Marinette. 

 

He knew that name.

 

'No... Marinette? She's here?'

 

His vision was swimming but he could recognize the pale figure standing in front of him. Blue eyes, blue pigtails, and she looked so concerned...

'Marinette...' he reached out to her, but she was apparently a lot closer than she'd seemed, because his hand slammed into her shoulder. 

 

'Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to do that!'

 

She took a step towards him, holding his arms to steady him. 

'It's okay... Adrien, do you remember what happened? Before you went to sleep. Before I found you?'

 

He nodded slowly, but it hurt, so he stopped.

 

'Plagg wasn't there. I kicked a bicycle.'

 

'What's a Plagg?' she asked. 

Adrien just shrugged. How could he explain that Plagg was a kwami- a magical god-like being with ultimate destructive powers?

He chuckled aloud at how crazy that would have sounded. 

  Marinette and the person he was leaning on started talking quietly to each other, about how something didn't make sense, and are you sure he's not drunk, and of course I'm not sure, that's what I'm trying to work out, you idiot. 

That was Alya, he was sure of it.

 

'Um, before that? There was... Elfena.'

That had gotten Marinette's attention. 

'What did you say?' she whispered. 

 

'Elfena. She had balls of fire. We ducked- me, and Ladybug. Ladybug was okay, I broke her fall.'

 

'What is he talking about, Marinette?'

 

'I don't know.'

 

'Yes you do!' Adrien shouted. 'You were there! You fell on me! I hit my head!-'

 

Wait, that wasn't right. He was fighting Elfena with Ladybug, not Marinette.

'I'm sorry, I... you're not Ladybug?! No, wait-- where is Ladybug..? No! Why are you-- why did I...'

The bluenette looked panicky and laughed nervously. 'What is he talking about?!' she muttered to Alya.

 

Alya shoved him a little to keep him upright, shrugging in response to her friend as she did so. 'I have no idea. Wait...' she said. 'You hit your head?'

 

Adrien nodded; it hurt. 

'And she threw fire at me.' He shifted his hair to expose his neck; it looked quite badly burnt. His hair above the swollen patch appeared to be slightly singed as well.

 

'Who threw fire at you, Adrien?' Alya asked gently. 'The akuma?'

 

He nodded. The pain hit him like a wall of bricks and he cried out.

'Adrien!!' It was Marinette talking this time.

'Are you alright? Adrien, are you- are you okay?-'

 'Oh my god, he's-'

'I'm calling an-'

'-you hear me?'

 

Adrien didn't remember falling down, or going to sleep. He didn't remember going home. He didn't remember going to bed.

 

When he woke up he was in bed.

 

He was in a hospital bed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's that. Please don't kill me. Adrien is a mess, but it gets worse, don't worry! :) Hehehe anyways I hope you enjoyed chapter four.  
> Like I said at the top, I'm not sure if the trigger warnings were necessary but I feel like I'd rather have them there just in case, so I hope that's okay. Most of the things I warn about are pretty mild but I will let you know if it gets worse in certain chapters.  
> If you want to talk to me about anything to do with this fic, I'm protectchatnoir on tumblr, and I'm open to suggestions and feedback! :D


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien finds himself in hospital, and has to deal with the pain of his father being a jerk and the shock of what has happened to him. On top of all that, one of his classmates comes to visit. And she's clearly suspicious of him.
> 
> Marinette goes to visit him in hospital, wanting to confront him about the things he said before. Her mind is conflicted: he had said some things before which made her suspect him, but he was seriously confused back then, and... Adrien couldn't be... could he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Here it is, chapter five. This is the last chapter I'm posting now- I posted the first five in one go to kickstart it, but from now on there'll be a chapter out every Friday. ;)
> 
> WARNING:  
> ***this chapter contains Gabriel Agreste being a jerk***  
> Kind of emotional blackmail/manipulation I guess, but that's Gabe for ya so you know what to expect, this whole chapter is set in a hospital but it isn't graphic or anything, it's just people visiting someone in hospital.
> 
> Well there you have it, enjoy!~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Five 

 

'What... happened?' 

 

Adrien's voice didn't sound right; his face was numb and it hurt at the same time, if that was even possible. 

 

He was vaguely aware of tubes attached in his arm and suddenly he felt sick, _really sick_ , like he was going to throw up. 

 

'Dude, you're awake!' It was Nino. 'Oh my god, you're- wait, I have to get a doctor-'

 

Nino pressed a button on the wall and then there was a sudden stream of people rushing in and out of the room, taking his temperature, blood pressure, asking what year it was and questions about himself that he honestly didn't know how to answer.

 

'My... name? Is... Chat?' Was his immediate response.

 

The nurses seemed confused by this and Adrien soon realised his mistake, that this wasn't his real name.

 

'Crap... I mean, my cat. Yeah, my cat.'

'What about your cat?' asked one of the doctors.

Nino was sitting behind them looking confused because- Adrien didn't have a cat. Duh.

 

'I don't have a cat. What? My name? Uhh, Adrien Agreste?'

 

He didn't sound convinced.

 

'Okay,' the doctor said, satisfied with his response. 'Well, you can talk to your friend in a minute. But we have to run a couple more tests first, alright? And we need to call your parents. What are their names?'

 

'Um... I live with my father, Gabriel Agreste. But he's probably busy.'

 

The doctor frowned. 'Too busy to come and visit his son who's just come out of a coma?' he muttered.

 

Adrien sat bolt upright in the hospital bed. The sudden movement yanked something out of his arm, which hurt like hell. 

 

'What?! A coma? Why did no one tell me? Why didn't- I was in a coma?! Wait... was I really? For... how long?'

 

'Shhh,' the doctor instructed. 'You were brought into hospital-' he checked a clipboard- 'two weeks ago today. I'm not your usual doctor. But it says that they think it was caused by your concussion.'

 

'Wait, concussion? What?!'

 

Adrien was confused and this doctor person wasn't helping very much.

 

'I know it's a lot to take in. But you should try and rest for now. You have several other visitors waiting after this young man here.' He nodded towards Nino. 'I suggest you only spend a few minutes with each person, you're in no state to have long strenuous social interactions. Keep it quick. Do you need painkillers?'

 

'Um, pain? I mean, I don't know. My neck hurts.'

 

'Ah, yes. Your regular doctors treated you for second degree burns on your neck. There was some damage in the hair, too, so they had to cut some off. Will you be needing painkillers, Mr. Agreste?'

 

'My hair? They cut off my hair?!' Adrien's hand flew up to his head. Okay, it wasn't that bad. It wasn't like they'd shaved off all of it. It was just one side, above his neck; and it was mostly fine. But they'd trimmed off the singed bits and it had been shaved closer to the burnt patch of skin. 

 

'Holy crap. Holy crap, my dad is going to kill me!'

 

The doctor raised his eyebrows.

Nino stared at his shoes and pretended he wasn't listening.

 

'No, no, you don't understand! I'm a model! Okay, that came out wrong: I'm not being vain or anything, really! I don't care about my hair! I hate being a model! But I have to because my father wants me to and he's really kinda strict and when he finds out half of my head is fricking _shaved_ he is going to flip out and fricking murder me!!'

 

Someone cleared their throat in the doorway. 

'Adrien, I was informed about you waking from your coma. Hopefully you'll be coming home soon.' 

 

His father was here.

 

 _Great_. 

 Bloody _brilliant_.

'How long until he can leave the hospital?'

 

Adrien's somewhat unhelpful doctor shrugged. 'You'll have to check with his other doctors. I'm not even supposed to be here. Anyway, I guess you have some catching up to do: I'll be nearby if you need me, just press the button.'

He pointed at the button before walking out.

 

Gabriel Agreste cleared his throat again and stood at the end of the bed. Before speaking, he shot Nino a look as if the boy was something you'd find on the bottom of a shoe. 

'What are you still doing here, boy? I thought I told you to leave.'

 

Nino looked up, surprised. 'No man- um, sir, you didn't say anythi-' upon recieving a very dirty look, he put his hands in the air and left the room, muttering, 'Okay, okay, I get it. Whatever dude, I'll go.'

 

'Father, why did you have to send Nino away? He's my closest friend, and he was the one person who actually bothered to-'

A withering look silenced him.

 

'Adrien, quite frankly, I am embarrassed at the way you've been behaving.'

 

He wanted to ask how the fresh _heck_ he could have been an embarrassment when he had been, y'know, _in a coma._ But he didn't dare speak.

 

'First of all, I get a call at midnight saying my only son is in hospital - I had no idea where you were all afternoon, and naturally I was panicking and searching for you - how do you think I felt when I received a call telling me you're unconscious, and being carted off in an ambulance?! Of course, these imbeciles in the hospital - 'medical professionals', I hear they're called - act extremely unprofessionally, saying they don't even know why you're unconscious. For all I knew, you could have been messing around with... things you _shouldn't be messing around with_.'

 

His father was speaking in a low and calm voice, but somehow still managed to sound incredibly angry. No, _furious_. 

'And then you spend two weeks - _two weeks_! - in a coma, without any warning or- how was I supposed to feel when I got a call out of the blue, and then you spent _two weeks_  asleep? What was I supposed to tell my important business partners? How... how was I supposed to know... if I'd lose my... _my only son?!'_

Adrien stared at his father, his mouth open. Was he... _crying_? It was so confusing; first his dad blamed him for being in a coma - _oh, yeah, totally his fault_ \- and now _this_? 

  But the moment of supposed emotion was over, and Gabriel stood up and turned to leave the room, his only goodbye a short, 'I'll have Nathalie bring in some schoolwork if you're not home by the end of the week.'

 

***

 

'Hi.'

 

Wow, great start.

 

'Um, how are you?'

 

Marinette was sitting on Adrien's bed in the small hospital room. There were a few other students outside in the waiting room, including Alya, Chloe and Nino; they were all taking turns to see Adrien, but they only had a few minutes, as the doctors said he needed to rest.

 

'I'm...'

 

The bluenette heard the hesitation in his voice so quickly cut in.

'Sorry, that was a really dumb question. You just...'

 

The room fell into a rather awkward silence. 

 

Marinette was painfully aware of the clock ticking. It was the only sound in the room, loudly reminding her that she had about a minute before she had to leave.

 

 _And still she had no idea what to say_.

 

In the end it was Adrien who spoke.

 

'Thanks for calling the ambulance. And everything before that. I don't remember much, but if you hadn't found me...'

 

Tick, tick, tick. 

 

'It... it's okay. I didn't even realise... I mean, I got lost, and then you were there, and I didn't know what to do, so I texted Alya, and...'

 

Tick, tick, tick.

 

The two teenagers were quiet again, before they both started speaking at once-

 

'I didn't even know why you were in that-'

 

'I still have no idea what I was doing there-'

 

A smile played on the corner of Adrien's mouth.

'Sorry. You go first.'

 

She gazed into his warm green eyes.

'I just... I was heading home, okay, and I took a shortcut. But I... got lost.'

 

Marinette paused, waiting to see if he was still okay talking about this.

He held her stare and nodded.

 

'I got lost, and it was dark. And I heard a noise. I heard a noise, right? Like- someone crying. So I kept going towards it. And then you were sitting there, just crying.'

 

Tears were forming in his eyes now.

 

'I asked if you were okay, but you didn't reply. I started to get worried, you know, that maybe you were... I dunno, drunk or something? And I tried to get you to come with me but then you just... you just passed out.'

 

He was crying now. Silently.

 

'Adrien... do you... do you remember?'

 

He shook his head.

 

'After Alya arrived... you woke up, and you didn't know who we were first. But then you started talking about... Elfena. The akuma? And the things you said... they didn't really make sense. It was as if you were there... fighting her.'

 

His eyes widened.

 

'You said I was there too. You spoke about... "Plagg". We didn't understand. But when we asked, you just laughed.'

 

Adrien's mouth opened as if he wanted to say something, but all that escaped was a strangled sob.

 

'Adrien... do you remember? Do you remember anything about that day? Anything at all?'

 

He didn't say anything. He didn't do anything. Just kept staring into those blue eyes. It was like staring into the sky on a summer's day. He knew those eyes. He loved those eyes.

 

Marinette breathed slowly. Adrien didn't seem to remember anything; but she remembered every single detail. She knew too much.

 

She knew that, when fighting Elfena, Chat Noir had ducked, bringing her down with him.

 

She also knew that Adrien had spoken about Elfena as if he was there, fighting her alongside Ladybug:

 

' _We ducked, me, and Ladybug. Ladybug was okay, I broke her fall.'_

 

His words echoed in her mind.

 

Two weeks had passed, and she hadn't been able to forget.

 

 Adrien speaking to her as if she was Ladybug. As if he'd known she was Ladybug. Which was impossible, right? But Adrien speaking as if he was...

 

Things were becoming a blur in Marinette's head. But one thing was clear. 

 

She wasn't stupid. 

 

It may have been the things that Adrien had said... if he wasn't utterly confused at the time.

 

 The boy had concussion, right? So some of the things he said hadn't made sense. They meant nothing.

 

So even if they did make Marinette wonder - wonder about he fact that Adrien Agreste had spoken as if... like he was, in fact, actually-

 

Even if they confused her, he was totally spaced out. They meant nothing.

 

But the real thing that made her think was the simple fact:

 

Chat Noir was missing. 

 

Chat Noir had been missing for the past two weeks.

 

Adrien Agreste had been in hospital for two weeks.

 

She didn't want it to be true; she really didn't. 

 

'M- Marinette? Are you alright?'

 

Her response was simple.

 

'You don't remember anything from that night. It was two weeks ago, Adrien. Chat Noir has been missing for two weeks. Is that... a coincidence?'

 

Marinette stared into Adrien's eyes as if searching for an answer there.

 

He gave her nothing.

 

No nod, no smile, no words.

 

 

But he didn't deny it.

 

'Adrien...?'

 

'I'm sorry, I don't know what you're trying to ask me. Anyway, you should probably go. There are people waiting.'

 

She stood up quickly; his tone had changed, now harsh and cold.

 

'Adrien, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-'

 

He stared at her. Not looking angry, just... sad. And tired.

 

Shaking his head, Adrien said, 'Marinette, I don't understand what you're trying to say. Why does it matter if some lame superhero is missing? It has _nothing_  to do with me. Leave me out of it.'

 

Well, _that_  was a denial. 

Although all the evidence said that... that Adrien was Chat Noir... Marinette didn't want it to be true, and Adrien was clearly denying it.

 

She didn't know what to think.

 

Adrien couldn't be Chat.

 

That was ridiculous.

 

'I'm sorry, I don't know what I was trying to say. I, uhh, just thought you'd want to know! About Chat, that is. Even though it has nothing to do with you. Umm... Goodbye, Adrien.'

 

And with that she walked silently from the room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I do love Gabriel. Gahh. Jk. I hate him. What a jerkwad.  
> Poor Adrien, he has to deal with so much crap. And poor Marinette, Adrien shutting her down like that, goshdangit.  
> Well, I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you think ;D see ya next Friday :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette tackles doubt and denial along with new feelings.
> 
> Adrien returns home after being in hospital and tries to get back into the swing of being a superhero.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, happy Halloween!! I wasn't gonna post this yet but.. consider it a Halloween gift coz IT'S HALLOWEEN! Aww it just occurred to me that Adrien missed Halloween whilst he was in l'hôpital (I can French)  
> Anyways that's me done rambling, but hopefully you'll enjoy this chapter-- it's a little less angsty, a little more... well, you'll see!! :D
> 
> WARNING:  
> hospital mentions, but as I said not much angst this chapter. Puns. Beware the puns. ;)

Chapter Six

 

Adrien hated himself for being so cold to Marinette. 

 

But it had seemed like she was one step away from finding out his secret identity, which was pretty much the worst thing that could possibly happen.

 

Although at first the doctors were reluctant to let him go home, he convinced them that he felt completely better. And so a car was sent to pick him up and deliver him back home

 

Nice personal touch from his father. 

 

There certainly wasn't any kind of "get well soon" card waiting for him - though Chloe had sent some hot pink and rather overly fragrant flowers in a vase which looked as if it had cost more than most people's car.

 

It was a nice gesture, but the flowers smelt funny.

 

Adrien wanted nothing more than to go to sleep, but he knew he had to put in an appearance as Chat, before things looked any more suspicious. 

 

Racing up to his room, Adrien checked his hand to make sure his ring was still there - it was - and then ran into his bedroom door.

 

It didn't move, and he fell to the floor. 

'Oww, what the-?!'

 

There was a loud noise inside indicating some kind of movement behind the door.

 

He tried the handle again.

 

This time it opened.

 

Adrien gasped. His room was a complete mess. The piano was on it's side next to the doorway, his bedsheets (along with several hundred feathers) were strewn across the floor, and the place stank of cheese.

 

'PLAGG!' he yelled as quietly as he could. Turns out yelling quietly is kinda hard.

'What did you DO?!'

 

The kwami appeared from under a pile of feathers, sending them flying, causing Adrien to have a sneezing fit whilst Plagg flew around in circles chasing them.

 

'AchOooO! Gah! It's chaos in here! What happened?!'

 

'Well, after that Mari- whatsername girl found you I flew home, 'cos I didn't want anyone to see me. And then barricaded myself in your room-'

 

'With the piano?!'

 

'- naturally. And then a wasp got in through the window so I tried to chase it away, and I could swear that it went into your mattress. So I looked in there. But it was actually in the pillow all along, so-'

 

'You "looked in" my mattress?! You ripped open my fricking mattress?!'

 

'- I went into the pillow to find it. Turns out kwamis aren't immune to wasp stings! How was your time in hospital?'

 

Adrien groaned and sank to the ground, face planting very gently on the ground so he wouldn't end up with concussion again.

 

'I messed up, Plagg. Marinette practically knows that I'm Chat Noir, and my father hates me, and life sucks!'

 

His kwami patted his shoulder sympathetically. 'Don't worry kid, at the end of the day, you didn't mess up as bad as I did!'

 

Plagg seemed more proud than guilty.

 

Rolling his eyes, he stood up again.

'Sure. I need to transform, everyone thinks Chat is missing. Claws out!'

 

Plagg blinked slowly. 'Won't that make you look more suspicious? You're both missing and then the day you're let out of hospital, Chat shows up again- okay, I guess not-'

 

The kwami's words were cut off as Adrien transformed into Chat Noir. 

 

'Whoa, okay, that feels weird.'

 

It was probably the longest he'd gone without transforming since he got the miraculous, so it took a little getting used to.

 

But as soon as he had readjusted, Adrien jumped up to the window and swung out of it, landing neatly on the ground below.

 

Okay, maybe Plagg had a point about looking more suspicious if Chat showed up straight away. But he felt like he had to get out and set everything back to normal.

 

***

 

Marinette perched on the edge of a building, watching people walk past below. It was Friday, and she was finished with school for the day so she'd decided to kill time with an afternoon patrol. The sky above was grim and grey, threatening rain.

 

Suddenly she felt aware of someone behind her; she span, but it was too late. They'd already dived at her and pinned her down.

Just as she was getting ready to kick out and send them flying off the edge of the roof, she realised it was Chat Noir. 

 In her mind, Marinette pushed away the thought that this could be Adrien.

 

'Wow M'Ladybug, you need to work on your reflexes!' He winked and rolled off her, getting dangerously close to the ledge, but he caught himself just in time.

 

'Miss me, Bugaboo?'

 

She couldn't help herself from smiling.

'Actually, I did.'

 

There was a sudden awkward silence, which was unusual between the two of them. She was reminded of sitting by his side in the hospital this morning.

No, sitting by Adrien's side, not Chat's! Marinette could have kicked herself for thinking like that. After all this time, why was she just assuming that they were one and the same? Just because of something Adrien had said when he couldn't remember his own name? ... And there was the fact that Chat had been AWOL the whole time Adrien was in hospital...

 

There was a reasonable explanation. She was sure of it.

 

'Where were you, anyway?' She drew her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly. The early November chill was finally catching up with them after summer's lingering warmth. 

 

'I, uhh...'

 

His voice was even sounding the same as Adrien's. No! No way. Nuh-uh, not a chance. Chat Noir and Adrien Agreste were two different people, no question about it.

 

There was still a small nagging feeling in the back of her mind, but she did her best to ignore it. She was Ladybug. As far as anyone else was concerned, she had nothing to do with Adrien. And she didn't need to know who Chat was. It didn't matter. Not right now.

 

'Um, I had an important mission?' It sounded more like a question than an answer.

'I mean, it's kinda top secret superhero-y stuff.'

 

Ladybug rolled her eyes. 

'Okay, if you don't trust me enough to tell me-'

 

Jumping to his feet, Chat gasped dramatically. 'That is not true! I love you! Trust you, trust you! I meant that I trust... um...'

He'd gone a kind of shade of scarlet, which she honestly didn't think was possible, considering he was usually so suave. 

 

'Uhh, I didn't mean to... I mean, I don't... I do, I just...' 

 

And... some more awkward silence.

 

Marinette leapt up and stepped closer to him until her face was only inches from his.

 

'What's up, Kitty? Cat got your tongue?' 

She laughed and jumped off the building, swinging her way to the other side of the street.

 

'Wait, Ladybug!' Chat shouted after her. 'Seriously? Did you really just pun? Hey, wait for me!'

 

But Marinette had already landed on the opposite roof top, waving her arm madly.

 

It was unlike Chat to feel embarrassed, but nonetheless, it was her job to make sure he always felt comfortable around her. Otherwise, how would they protect Paris?

 

'Catch me if you can, kitty cat!'

 

After giving him a couple of seconds to catch up, the spotted superhero flipped off the other side of the building, landing in a graceful roll on the parallel street.

 

Chat Noir stumbled after her, falling clumsily to the ground; but he was back and his feet in a flash, regaining his usual swagger. 

'Enough with the pet names, Bugaboo.'

 

She laughed, nudging his shoulder affectionately. 'Idiot,' Marinette mumbled.

 

And then the pun sank in.

 

'Pet names! Pet! 'Cos Chat! Oh my god, I hate you!' she began marching down the street away from him, calling over her shoulder, 'You are an absolute moron!'

 

Hearing him laugh behind her, and then running footsteps hurrying to catch up, Marinette let herself smile.

 

'Sorry, M'Ladybug. I can't help the awful jokes, it's like... totally a natural cat instinct!'

 

She giggled. 

 

'What, to make really bad puns!'

 

Chat grinned sheepishly.

'You love it really.'

 

And she did. Although he could be a total pain in the ass, Chat was her best friend, other than Alya of course. And although his puns were literally the embodiment of hell, who would he be without them? And who would she be without him? 

 

Oh my god. She didn't have... feelings for him, did she? No way, she was totally just imagining  that he was actually Adrien. It was only her feelings for her classmate projecting onto her superhero partner, right? She was only thinking about him like that because there was a chance that they could be the same person.

 

No! Marinette kicked herself for thinking like that. There was not a chance that they were the same person! No way.

 

Still... when she looked at him, she felt the familiar butterfly-ish feeling, as if her heart was skipping a beat. And yet it was totally different, because Adrien was just a guy she had an awkward crush with, but she felt comfortable with Chat. What she had with Chat... that was solid. 

 

It could be solid. If she wanted it to be. 

 

She knew he did.

 

As the first few drops of rain fell, she felt his eyes staring at her with curiosity and - was that concern? That's when Marinette realised she'd been staring at Chat for like, five whole minutes, really intently.

 

'You... okay, Ladybug?'

 

The rain started thundering down, much heavier now, onto the streets and drumming on the rooftops. As it plasted her hair to her face, she felt herself smile. When she looked at Chat now, she saw something more than just an annoying dork who made really bad puns. She saw... something else, not quite knowing what. But she liked what she saw.

 

'Yeah. I'm more than okay.'

 

And then, in the heat of the moment, Ladybug, sworn protector of Paris and guardian of... whatever. She stepped forwards and kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was chapter six! I hope you liked it!! If ya wanna yell at me about these idiots or this fic or just Miraculous in general, feel free to leave a review or head over to my tumboblr @protectchatnoir :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien is confused - confused to the point that he can't differentiate between his actions and Chat Noir's actions.
> 
> Marinette is also confused, because Chat is being weird. She figures some stuff out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, what the summary says, I guess! 
> 
> So here we are. It's Friday. I'm updating. Wow, I'm keeping my schedule! #shook  
> Hahaha.. anyway, I didn't feel like any trigger warnings were necessary here but if you think I missed something just let me know! 
> 
> Enjoy!! ;D

Chapter Seven

 

'What kind of ungodly hour is this?' Plagg moaned the second the alarm was off.

 

'It's quarter to five, atcually.'

 

Adrien had wanted to get out of the house as soon as possible so he could go on a quick patrol before school. 

 

'Adrieeeeeen!' his kwami whined. 'Monday mornings are bad enough, you had to set that... horrendous rock song as your alarm!'

 

He jumped out of bed and started brushing his hair, but soon gave up. There was no point. He would transform into Chat Noir in a minute; and when he was Chat, his hair looked a mess anyway.

 

'C'mon Plagg, it wasn't horrendous rock music, it was literally a song from a meditation CD or something. Here, let me read you the name of the song.'

 

He flipped through a pile of CDs until he found the right one. 

'Okay, the one I set as my alarm was... Ocean Serenity. Hardly rock. You ever hear a rock song with whales and dolphins?'

 

Plagg didn't answer; he was in some weird state of being half awake and he didn't move even when Adrien held camembert under his nose. 

 

'Plagg! Come on. I wanna go on patrol! Come on!!'

 

The kwami blinked sleepily and nodded.

 

'Great. Claws out!'

 

Plagg barely had time to react before zipping into his ring.

 

He grabbed his school bag, slung it over his shoulder and took a flying leap at the window.

 

It would have worked a lot better if the window was open.

 

'Ow,' he muttered, rubbing his shoulder. 

 

Adrien opened the window and then climbed out carefully, and dropped to the ground below rather than jumping; he didn't fully trust his landing skills what with Plagg being barely awake. Cats may always land on their feet, but probably not if they're still half asleep. 

 

It had been three days. Three days since Ladybug had kissed him.

 

He shook off the mixed feeling of excitement and nausea as he took off in a run.

 

No time for emotions. He wasn't Adrien Agreste any more.

 

He was Chat Noir. 

 

By the time he got to school, the sun was only just rising. The building wasn't even open yet; school wouldn't start for an hour and a half at least. He had to go somewhere else, kill time for an hour or so before detransforming for school. 

 

Instead of thinking about where he was running, he just let his feet guide him. Soon enough he found himself standing outside the Dupain-Cheng bakery. 

 

Chat felt puzzled as to why he'd ended up here, of all places. His mind flashed back to the night when he had gone to say sorry to Marinette. How he never had apologised. He remembered staring at his reflection in the window, which was what he did now.

 

The ghost of a boy in black leather stared back.

 

He cocked his head and so did the reflection.

 

How did he look so different? 

 

His face looked somewhat gaunt and tired, and his eyes held an element of fear. 

 

Taking a step towards the glass, Chat ran his fingers through his hair, dodging the trademark cat ears. It seemed lank and greasy.

 

Adrien Agreste, possibly the most chased-after boy in his school, a famous model for his father's fashion line, looked like he'd just dug himself out of his own grave. With slightly less dirt.

 

He fiddled with his hair, trying to cover the considerably shorter patch where the doctors had shaved it. At least it was growing back quite quickly, and his hair tended to be kind of shaggier as Chat anyway, so it wasn't too noticeable.

 

There was a movement behind the glass. It was Marinette, pulling her shoes on and leaving the building. She looked tired. Wasn't this a little early for her to be out of the house? She was typically late for school, and it must have been around seven in the morning, or even half past six.

 

'Oh, Chat Noir! What a nice surprise.' 

 

She didn't seem very surprised.

 

And she certainly didn't act like it was nice.

 

He winced slightly, thinking back to the other day in the hospital the other day, and how awkward it had been. How close she had come to finding out that he was Chat Noir. 

 

Marinette hovered awkwardly in the doorway. 'Can... I get you something? Like, something to eat maybe?'

 

Chat found his eyes sliding back to the window, to his reflection. 

 

Seeing that pale stranger looking back at him made him feel faint. When was the last time he'd taken a shower? When was the last time he'd eaten?

 

***

 

Marinette had woken up earlier than she meant to.

 

Her mind was filled with confusion and she'd barely slept at all for the past three nights. 

 

Friday had been eventful.

 

The suspicion and muddle around Adrien and Chat Noir had left her stressed out; what if her crush actually was Chat?

 

But the thing her thoughts kept jumping back to was the kiss.

 

She hadn't meant for it to happen.

In that second, Marinette had realised how much she loved him. That was platonic, though. Right? She still had no idea why she had done it. It wasn't really fair on him. It was definitely not fair for her to ignore him from then on.

 

Getting up early in the morning to go on a patrol and going on another late at night made avoiding him easy. Which was okay seeing as she couldn't sleep anyway. And if she could, Marinette would try and fit a patrol in whilst on her lunch break.

 

Avoiding him was easy enough. That didn't make it right though.

 

And seeing Chat standing outside her home this morning made her feel sick.

 

He looked awful. This was all her fault. He had probably been getting up early too to try and catch her before the day properly began. Well, to catch Ladybug.

 

There was no way Chat Noir was Adrien.

 

Seeing him standing on the street, she knew there was no way that this was one of the most famous Parisian models.

 

His hair was matted and looked like it hadn't been washed for days; it had almost changed colour, too. Less golden blonde, more... dirty blonde. He looked skinny, as well. A lot thinner, she was sure of it. And his eyes looked... haunted. They were the same deep green colour, but they somehow looked tired and almost scared. There was a wildness in his eyes and he seemed to be wary of every movement in the early morning streets. He literally jumped when a pigeon flew past overhead. 

 

Not to mention his skin. Usually it was smooth and slightly tanned. He had nice skin. 

 

But today it looked ghostly pale, with a slight hint of sweat as if he'd just woken up from a nightmare. Or maybe... maybe he was in one.

 

Although Marinette wanted to transform and make sure there weren't any akumas or anything, she felt like she had to do something to help Chat. Which is why she offered him something to eat.

 

When he didn't answer, she ran inside and came back out with a paper bag filled with mini croissants. Thrusting the bag at him, the bluenette smiled her best it's-before-eight-in-the-morning smile. 

'Here. Take these.'

 

Chat stared into the bag, looking slightly lost. 

'I... I can't eat these.' His voice sounded hoarse and strained like it was under used.

 

'Why not? You look hungry.'

 

'Um, I have no money.'

 

When they transformed they didn't keep their bag or purse on them; but he had a bag swinging from his arm. That was kind of unusual. Hey, wasn't that Adrien's bag? 

 

'It's fine, you can have them for free. Consider it a thank you for... saving Paris and stuff.'

 

But it was too late, he'd seen her staring at the bag. He glanced down at it, and seemed twice as confused as she was.

'How'd that get there?' he muttered. 

 

Marinette shook her head. 'Um, I'm going to school now. So, see you round, I guess.'

She started walking briskly down the street before he could argue.

 

What the hell was that about?

~

Marinette got to school early and went into her classroom it was empty apart from Max, who was doing homework, and Nino, who was playing on his phone.

'Morning,' she said, yawning. 

 

Neither of them replied.

 

She slid into her seat and rested her head on her arms. Before long, she drifted off to sleep.

~

Someone nudging her arm was what woke her up. 

 

It was Adrien, sitting in front of her but backwards on his chair so he could face her.

She sat up, stretching a little. There were several other people in the room now. Alix, Kim, Juleka, Rose.

 

'Marinette,' Adrien said. He was staring up at her earnestly, a slightly strained smile on his face. His eyes looked panicked.

 

She knew that look. She had seen it somewhere else earlier that morning.

 

'I don't think I ever thanked you for those croissants. They were great!'

 

Although this may have seemed like a normal comment to anyone else, it made Marinette's blood run cold. 

Partly because this... this was literally it. This was him telling her that he was Chat Noir. 

 

But maybe inside, she knew that all along.

What really scared her was the state he was in.

 

He looked terrible. He sounded like he hadn't spoken to anyone for weeks. And he smelt of camembert, for some reason. 

 

Adrien was not in a good place. But the fact that he couldn't even distinguish between things he'd done as Adrien and things he had done as Chat? 

 

That worried her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ughhhhhh whyyyyy am I so mean to Adrien?!?! Poor sunshine child :(
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it!   
> If you feel like yelling about these dorky kids with me or yelling at me about this fic, I'm @protectchatnoir on tumblr ;)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien is getting worse.
> 
> Marinette tries to help her classmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sjdjfmfkdkdjhddhdh okay the first part is a little angsty I guess but the second half is a little nicer. I guess. ;D  
> WARNING: loss of memory (kind of?), losing track of time due to stress n stuff I guess, Adrien being kinda depressed.  
> On that note, have fun!  
> :)

Chapter Eight 

 

Adrien sat through school, not talking to anyone, not taking notes. Just sitting.

 

It wasn't so much because he had to. It was because it was a much better option than going home. His father clearly didn't love him anymore; even Nathalie seemed to be acting cold towards him recently. 

 

His shoulder hurt. Why did his shoulder hurt? Did he do something to it? Had he slammed it into a window, or was that a dream? Was it this morning, or last night? Either way, it felt like weeks ago. It was probably a dream. Why would he have slammed it into a window anyway? Was he trying to jump out? Pfft. Adrien Agreste didn't jump out of windows. 

 

Yeah, it must have been a dream.

 

Everything was a blur. His mind and memories, even his vision. He couldn't focus on anything. And his head was throbbing. 

 

But the worst thing was the tiredness. Adrien felt totally exhausted. Why had he gotten up so early again? To go on patrol?

 

_Patrol._

 

Seeing himself as Chat in the window reflection. 

 

_Chat._

 

Adrien screwed up his eyes tightly. Who was he? Was he Adrien Agreste or Chat Noir? He couldn't be both, right? They were too different.

 

This morning when he woke up, sure, he was tired, but he was okay. Since seeing himself reflected in that glass this morning, something had changed. It had triggered a flood of doubt and confusion.

 

He'd pretty much forgotten about the fact that he was in school, until the teacher announced that they had a math test and handed the papers out. That snapped him back to reality; at least his thoughts were a little clearer now. At least he was Adrien again.

 

The teacher told them to begin the test. So Adrien opened the paper and picked up his pencil. It was half past two. They had until half three before they could go home. He could cope with that - he could cope with one hour. Plus, his math skills were pretty decent.

 

Seeing the first question, it seemed really complicated. But looking at everyone else around the room, he saw that they were getting  on fine. Stealing a glance at Nino's test paper, Adrien nearly choked on his pencil, which he was chewing absent mindedly. Nino was on question twelve. Out of twenty six. He stated back down at his paper, and question one looming threateningly before him, with the answer box completely empty. Adrien looked at the clock. It was quarter past three.

 

No way. They'd literally only just started, and they had definitely started at half past two. No way he'd just lost three quarters of an hour! Had he fallen asleep? No way.

 

He stared at the question again, trying to figure it out, nibbling his pencil. 

 

'Okay class, time up! Please pass your papers to the front and then you can go.'

 

Adrien jumped out of his seat.

 

'What?! Are you joking?!' he yelled.

 

His teacher, along with his entire class turned to stare at him. The clock's ticking seemed louder now, aggressive, taunting him, mocking him. 

 

He picked up his calculator and hurled it at the clock, shattering it. Glass erupted from it's face, raining down to the floor.

 

There were screams and gasps from various students, along with a dramatic 'Oh no! Adrikins has gone mad!' from Chloe. 

 

In response he turned around and snarled at her. That shut her up. 

 

Hissing at Nino who'd grabbed his arm to restrain him from clawing off her face, Adrien leapt over the desk and ran out of the classroom. 

 

***

 

Marinette practically flew out of the room to catch Adrien up. She'd known this morning that he was in a bad state. But this? It was so sudden. The day she... Ladybug had kissed him - well, kissed Chat, anyway. They were the same person, right? It was still a weird thought. All those times her superhero partner had flirted with her? It was Adrien. All Adrien. The love of her life.

 

But the day she'd kissed him, he seemed fine. Happy, even. Okay, maybe a little awkward when he'd accidentally declared love for her. But fine nonetheless. 

 

Now, only three days later, Marinette wondered if he should've ever been let out of hospital. 

 

She raced through the school, only to see, to her dismay, Chat Noir disappearing out of the main entrance. So he'd already transformed. 

 

Well, two could play at that game.

~

Ladybug landed neatly behind him, as silent as death itself, not wanting to spook him.

 

He was lying on his stomach on the roof, his arm dangling lazily over the edge. His tail twitched from side to side. 

 

She frowned. How did he do that? His tail could come off, right? So how come it moved?

 

Finding herself wondering if his ears could move too, she took a step forward. Her question was quickly answered as he heard her rather clumsy footfall. His ears flattened and jumped up, spinning to face her, hissing.

 

She took a step back, alarmed.

 

'Whoa, kitty, it's okay! It's just me.'

 

When she said that, his face softened, and he smiled slightly, before bursting into tears. 

 

'Hey, hey, Chat, don't cry! Don't cry, kitty, it's okay.'

She took his hand and pulled him down so that they were sitting cross legged opposite each other.  He looked so tired.

 

Marinette took him gently by the shoulders and turned him sideways, laying him down so his head was resting on her lap.

'Hey,' she murmured. 'It's okay. It's alright. I promise it's going to be okay.'

 

She softly stroked his hair and behind his cat ears, whispering comforting words to him.

'It's alright. I've got you. You're safe now, kitty. It's alright.'

 

A low purr escaped his throat. She wavered, not sure how to react. Okay, she'd heard Chat purr before, but Ladybug still found it a little weird. How did it even work? She moved her hand to just under his chin, jingling his bell slighlty, and stroked there instead. 

 

Chat's purr grew louder before he started laughing. 'Hey, that tickles!' he muttered, pressing his face onto her knee where his head rested, trying to get as close to her as possible.

 

Ladybug smiled to hear his laugh. It was good to know that he hadn't been utterly consumed by darkness just yet.

 

Gazing down at his sleepy face, she thought about their relationship. They'd always bantered, and even though they fought at times, Ladybug couldn't think of one person who she trusted more than she trusted Chat Noir. Not even Alya. The two heroes of Paris had always been comfortable in each others company, since the day they'd first met. She knew that Chat had feelings for her, but she also knew that he would always respect her boundaries, and as soon as she asked him to stop doing something, he would stop immediately. She knew that he was waiting for her. And his patience was remarkable. 

 

Even though she had made it clear that she didn't want a romantic relationship with him, he hadn't given up on her. He hadn't tried to pressure her. He'd made light of his feelings by stupidly flirting with her all the time. But she knew that his feelings were stronger than that annoying flirting. Even though she'd made it clear that she wasn't interested. 

 

But maybe she was interested. 

 

Maybe she'd been interested all along.

Maybe she had denied it because of her dedication to Adrien. 

Chat was the one person who was always by her side. Chat was the one person who would always respect her. Always look out for her, protect her, be there for her. Chat was the one person she truly trusted.

 

Maybe she did love Chat. Maybe she'd been denying it all this time. Denying it because she loved Adrien, too. 

 

But Adrien and Chat were the same person. So maybe she could love both. They were the same, after all. Adrien Agreste and Chat Noir were two sides of the same coin. But she loved him as a whole. 

 

As he drifted off to sleep in her lap, she smiled.

 

'It's alright, kitty. It's all going to be okay.'

 

If only she'd known just how wrong she'd been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .... I'm sorry? That last part was mean. Maybe I'll make it up to you guys by posting chapter nine a little earlier than usual ;)  
>  If you haven't already, check out my new fic, A Tribute To The (mostly) Deceased -- it's a zombie apocalypse no-super power AU!! I'm not sure where it's going yet as this one is my main focus, but I'll keep writing that AU and we'll see where it goes!
> 
> Find me on tumblr: @protectchatnoir
> 
> Hope you liked this chapter!! :D


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chat wakes up from his cat nap, and Ladybug makes a comment without thinking which leads to..
> 
> ..awkwardness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay it's early but I was reading through this to get it ready for posting and I couldn't resist. I just had to publish it early xD
> 
> WARNING: this chapter is seriously cringey. Get ready for second-hand embarrassment. You have been warned. ;D

 

 

 

Chapter Nine 

 

When Adrien woke up, there were bright lights in his eyes. Oh god, he wasn't in hospital again, was he? 

 

He squinted a little and let his eyes adjust. No, not hospital lights, but late afternoon sunlight. Although it was November now, the weather was behaving strangely, being either really sunny or freezing and rainy. At least today was sunny. Adrien liked the rain. It was still and peaceful somehow, and everything seemed silent and magical when it drummed against the roof.

 

But sun meant he could nap outside, which was... what he was doing now, apparently.

 

And then it all came back to him: the maths paper, time slipping away, him smashing the clock...

 

He vaguely remembered having some kind of panic attack and growling at people... oh god. Did anyone find out he was secretly Chat Noir? No, not that he could remember. Marinette came close to finding out a few days before, in the hospital - but he made sure she didn't figure it out, and there was no way she could possibly know. Nino didn't know, right? Alya didn't know... 

As he was going through a mental checklist of people in his class, he heard breathing, and felt fingers running through his hair. Where  _was_ he? 

 

'Now it makes sense,' someone said, and gave a light chuckle. 

 

Oh jeez. When was last time he'd washed his hair? This morning he had been staring at it thinking how disgusting it looked.

But he knew that voice. Was that... Marinette? 

 

He sat up slowly, feeling disorientation and a sudden vertigo as if he was high up.

 

It was Ladybug. Right. He fell asleep in her lap. Adrien remembered now.

 

'Hey, Chat,' Ladybug whispered. As if she didn't want to scare him. 'Are you feeling okay?'

 

He scoffed. 'What is this, therapy?'

 

She bit her lip. 'I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you feel-'

 

'No, I'm sorry,' Chat interrupted. 'That was rude. You were just trying to be nice.'

 

Smiling, Ladybug repositioned until she was eye level with him. He was sort of slumped on the ground, so she had to move into a kind of half lying down propped up position, which didn't look fun.

 

'So,' she said. 'Tell me how you're feeling.' 

 

Chat sat up properly, but he felt stiff and achey, so he stood up and stretched. If he felt like this after sleeping on her lap, he couldn't imagine how Ladybug felt after sitting up for the whole of his cat nap. Well, she obviously cared for him a lot if she was willing to let him sleep on her for...

 

Yawning, Chat reached out a hand to help her up. She happily accepted and was soon on her feet as well.

 

'How long was I asleep?'

 

'About an hour, I guess. Maybe two?'

 

He nodded. 'You wanna go get icecream?'

 

Ladybug raised an eyebrow. 'Huh?'

 

'I said, do. You. Want. To. Get. Icecream?'

 

'Uhh...'

 

'Purr-lease?'

 

'Chat, I don't know if-'

 

'Purr-etty purr-lease?!'

 

He saw a smile glance over her lips.

'Okay, kitty. But just this once, mkay?'

 

He nodded and started walking over the rooftops in the direction of the nearest icecream parlour.

 

Once they were nearly above it, Chat moved towards the edge of the roof. 

'I just have one quick stop to make. BRB!' he said, dropping off the building and landing on all fours. 

 

To his dismay, Ladybug followed him.

 

'Hold up, Chat Noir. Did you seriously just say "BRB"?' 

 

He looked up. She was dangling from her yo-yo just above him, rocking slightly in the breeze. Chat never knew how she managed to hang upside down like that. Surely all the blood would rush to your head and make you feel dizzy and stuff?

 

He smiled.

'I hear all the cool kids say it nowadays, M'Lady. Can't deny modern society's slang and abbreviations. And stuff.'

 

She laughed and dropped a little further, placing her hands on his shoulders. It would have probably looked like she was doing a handstand to anyone else, but Chat knew she wanted him to help her down. That this was a way of telling him she trusted him. She could have jumped down on her own, but this... this was her telling him she needed him. She trusted him.

 

He gently put his hands around her waist and lowered her to the ground, being ultra careful with his claws because, jeez, those things could be lethal. Panic rose in him as he worried about dropping her. Lifting someone who was hanging upside down above you into a standing position was... just as difficult as it sounded. 

  By the time she had both feet safely on the ground they were kind of in a slow dance position, her hands on his shoulders and his on her waist.

 

She stared into his eyes for a minute, and he couldn't quite tell what her gaze held. Surely it couldn't be... love, right? 

 

Well, it was her who had kissed him the other day. But it was also her who'd then run off and avoided him for half a week, so...

 

Ladybug laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck, moving closer so she could hug him. 

 

'I love you,' she whispered.

 

Chat Noir stopped breathing. His arms hung awkwardly by his sides, not hugging back - his muscles seemed to have stopped working. And his face was probably the same shade as her suit, but he didn't care. 

 

She loved him.

 

 _She loved him_.

 

***

 

Marinette pushed herself away from him as soon as she realised what she'd said.

She felt her face flooding bright red. Well, at least she matched Chat, who looked like he was pretty much dying.

 

'I- I'm- I'm sorry!' she stammered, panic rising inside her. Why the hell did she say that?

 

Well, she said it because she meant it. 

But she hadn't meant to _say_ it.

 

'N-no,' Chat half yelled. 'I didn't- uhh, you don't- no- yeah- okay...'

 

He looked ready to die. 'So, um, icecream?' 

 

This took her by surprise. 'Hmm?'

 

'Icecream.'

 

'Hmm.'

 

The two superheroes started walking towards the icecream parlour, not saying a word to each other. Usually they felt completely comfortable around each other, but thanks to Ladybug's absent minded comment, it was awkward with a side of awkward. 

In the end it was Chat who broke the silence.

 

'Here's my stop.'

 

'What?!'

 

'Um, BRB?'

 

'Oh. Kay.'

 

He walked over to a bank across the street. There was a cash machine on the side of it. She watched as he opened his pocket, pulled out a card and put it in.

 

'Hey!' she cried, running over. 'You get pockets?! That's not fair! I don't have pockets!'

 

Chat's face broke into a smile and he spun around. When she got up to him, he reached down, took her face in his hands and kissed her.

 

There was a moment of stunned silence as their lips parted and he gazed down lovingly into her eyes. Chat shook his head.

'I've wanted to do that for so long,' he whispered, perhaps more to himself than to her. 

 

Marinette had always believed in magic. Even before she got her superpowers. 

 

But this was different. 

 

This was miraculous. 

 

'You wanted to do what? Rub it in my face that you have pockets and I don't?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..sorry? Dkfkxnsndjdjdufj told you it would be cringey!!!!  
>  Hahaha hope you enjoyed and see ya next Friday ;D 
> 
> Find me on tumblr @protectchatnoir if you wanna yell about these losers with me :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Chat and Ladybug grow closer, Adrien grows further from himself.
> 
> Marinette does some serious thinking about what she can do to help her friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now the ball is rolling and drama follows. Okay I know it's early but hey, this chapter is.. fun.  
> ;D   
> Enjoy!

Chapter Ten 

 

They laughed together, with just a hint of the previous awkwardness. He couldn't believe it.

 

He'd kissed Ladybug. 

 

She stopped laughing, looking fondly into his eyes. 

'I can't belive,' she whispered, moving forward so her breath tickled his ears. I can't believe you have pockets.' 

 

Chat pushed her away from him. 'Oh my god! I didn't design the suits, you idiot!'

 

Ladybug smiled. 'I may be an idiot. But I'm your idiot.' She flicked his bell and took a step backwards. 'Are you getting money out, or what?'

 

He turned back to the machine and got some money out, dozens of emotions running through him. Confusion, happiness, relief.  

 

Uncertainty. 

It was overwhelming. Ever since he'd come back from the hospital, his emotions had been way overwhelming.

 

What now? What were they now? What would they do? 

 

'Ladybug. What... what does this...'

 

Taking his hand, she turned him around and looks him dead in the eye, apparently understanding. She shrugged.

 

'I don't know. We just... see where it leads, I guess?'

 

'Okay,' Chat whispered, nodding. 'I just don't want you to be unhappy.'

 

'I'm not unhappy. Not when I'm with you.'

 

He nodded again. 'Okay.'

 

'Icecream?'

 

'Icecream.'

~

As he said goodbye to Ladybug and they went their different ways, Adrien took off the mask of pretending to be okay and let the exhaustion envelop him. He'd nearly slipped up today, when he started crying in front of her. If he had been any less careful, she would know who he was right now.

 

It was only six o'clock but the sky was already dark and clouding over, promising rain. The moon shone weakly through the gathering clouds. Adrien had to find somewhere he could detransform. Turning off from the main street their was a small alleyway which he ducked into. The path led to a dead end but there were a few bins which made good cover.

 

'Claws in.'

 

It was cold.

 

Sinking to the ground with his back against the wall, Adrien pulled his jacket tighter around him, recalling the day's events. 

 

Chat Noir had had a good day.

 

Adrien Agreste had not.

 

He was beginning to feel more and more like they were two different people. How could they be the same? Chat was confident and bold and fearless.

 

Adrien was terrified.

 

He felt lost and alone. And scared. Scared of what had happened in class that morning. 

Scared of who he was becoming. 

 

Scared of himself.

 

'Adrien..?' 

 

It was Plagg. 

 

'Did you hear what I said, kid?'

 

The boy shook his head.

 

'You can't keep doing this. Go get some help.'

 

Adrien frowned. 'Help? You mean like..?'

 

'Like go to a doctor, or therapist, or something. I don't care. But you have to talk to someone.'

 

'You think I need therapy?'

 

'I don't know, kid. But I do know that you haven't showered for god knows how long and you look like a piece of shit.'

 

Jumping to his feet, Adrien growled. 'What did you just say to me?' he asked in a low and threatening tone.

 

'You heard what I said.'

 

'You have no right to talk to me like that! How dare-'

 

'Jeez, you sound like your father,' Plagg muttered. 

 

Suddenly Adrien found himself pressing the kwami against the wall on the other side of the alley. 

 

'You know nothing about my father! You know nothing about me! You know who the worthless piece of shit is? You! You're nothing!'

 

He tore the ring from his finger and threw it as far as he could. It didn't matter where it went - he just wanted it away from him.

 

***

 

By the time Marinette was on her way home, the sun was going down leaving Paris in trails of dusky darkness. She had detransformed already and Tikki flew along next to her in silence.

 

The bluenette sighed. 'Am I doing the right thing?'

 

'What do you mean, Marinette?'

 

She thought about it for a minute.

 

'I mean... I know that Adrien is Chat Noir. I mean, I'm 99% sure. But I'm not telling him that I know. I'm not telling him who I am. Isn't that unfair?'

 

They were both silent for a moment.

 

'I think... I think you need to decide if Marinette knows, or if Ladybug knows. You just can't be both. Not right now.'

 

Mari frowned. 'So you mean... I won't tell him that I'm Ladybug?'

 

'You won't have to if you're not Ladybug.'

 

She stopped walking and turned to face the kwami.

 

'Tikki, what are you saying?'

 

'Just that... maybe it would be a good idea to take the earrings off for a while? Even superheroes need a break sometimes, you know.'

 

The girl's eyebrows shot up behind her bangs. 

'You want me to- you want Ladybug to take a break?'

 

She sounded sceptical. 

 

'Yes. I think it would be a good idea!'

 

The two fell into silence again as they arrived outside the bakery. 

 

'So... do I take them off now, or..?'

 

'You don't have to if you don't want to. But yes, I think you should.'

 

'Okay, if you're sure,' Marinette sighed. 'Let's just hope that Hawkmoth doesn't akumatize anyone.'

 

She took her earrings out and slipped them into her pocket.

~

As she entered her house, Marinette felt a strange insecurity being without her miraculous after so long. Okay, she could have just reached into her pocket and everything would be back to normal - but she felt like she had to honour her promise. Not that she'd made a promise; although somehow she knew she had promised herself.

 

Promised herself to help Adrien. 

 

Adrien needed her now - her, Marinette, not Ladybug. He needed _her_.

And she had to be there for him. As Marinette. 

 

The girl slipped up the stairs, trying to get away to her room so she could think about what she should say to Adrien. 

 

'Marinette!' a voice shouted after her.

 

It was her mother. 

 

She sighed and trudged back down the stairs.

'Yeah?'

 

Her parents were both waiting at the foot of the stairs, staring at her expectantly. Her father was the one who spoke this time.

'You're very late home, honey. What were you doing? It's nearly seven o'clock!'

 

The bluenette shrugged.

 

'I... was with a friend.'

 

Noticing her parents exchanging a worried look, she added, 'You know Adrien? He came round here before.'

 

They nodded, seemingly reassured. 

'Listen, Marinette,' her mom began. 'We have some important news.'

 

Well, at least they looked relatively happy. It couldn't be bad news, right?

 

'Your mother and I have been invited to attend a food preparation competition in Germany!'

 

Marinette gasped. A food preparation competition? In Germany? Well that was random.

'I'm so.. happy for you?'

 

She hadn't meant for it to sound like a question, but it obviously was.

 

'I have to go pack some bags,' her mother cried. 'Your father will explain!' 

She rushed off up the stairs.

 

'Marinette, we're flying to Germany tomorrow, and we'll be staying for the week. The flight leaves at four in the morning. It's going to be amazing! We'll be on television - hopefully it will really advertise our bakery!'

 

'But, Dad... I can't go to Germany. What about school?'

 

He nodded. 'Well, that's why we thought you could stay here. I mean, it's only a week. You'll be okay, right? Because if you're not okay on your own for a week then we don't have to go. And I know it's short notice, but-'

 

'No, it's fine. This is an amazing opportunity for you, and like you said, it's only for a week. I'll be fine!'

 

Her dad looked relieved. 'That's great, but only if you're sure you'll-'

 

'It's fine, honestly! I have to go and homework do! Do homework! Bye!'

 

The bluenette ran up the stairs before her dad could question her.

 

As soon as she was safely in her room, Marinette replaced her earrings in their box. 

It was weird to be without them. Hopefully she wouldn't need them. 

 

She wanted to get to sleep early and maybe think about what to say to Adrien, so she got ready for bed and lay down, staring at the ceiling.

 

What could she say? Hi, I know you're Chat Noir? Then what?

 

Maybe she shouldn't tell him.

 

Maybe she shouldn't tell him that she knew. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so.. that happened. Um. We have both our heroes without their powers and.. we'll see what happens next chapter! Oh I'll tell you what happens next chapter. 
> 
> Angst happens next chapter.
> 
> :D   
> Find me @protectchatnoir on tumblr ;)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette is woken by a scream. She has to help whovever it is who's in danger.
> 
> Adrien has to make a difficult decision, which will change his life- for the worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. *deep breaths*  
> This is where things start to go wrong. Fun, fun, chapter.
> 
> WARNING: mind games, nightmares, abusive parents (you can guess who), guns, murder, death, claustrophobia.. 
> 
> Yep this is an angsty chapter.  
> No, seriously. Angst.  
> Okay.
> 
> Enjoy! ;)

Chapter Eleven

 

Marinette didn't remember falling asleep. 

 

But she must have done.

 

Otherwise, how would she have been woken up by a blood curdling scream?

 

It had come from a couple of blocks away.

 

What time was it? 

 

Thirty eight minutes past four.

 

Marinette jumped out of bed and pulled some clothes on as fast as she could. She bolted down the stairs and out of the front door, snatching the note attached to the door's handle on the way through. As soon as she was outside in the cold early morning air, Marinette allowed herself to glance at the note. It was from her parents, to tell her they'd already left. The cooking competition thing. Right.

 

The sky was still dark and it was almost silent in the street. Clouds covered the moon. The only light was from a flickering yellow street lamp. 

 

Why hadn't she brought her earrings?

Okay, she kind of felt like she had made her decision and had to keep it. But what if someone was in danger?  It wouldn't have hurt to grab the box on the way out. 

 

But it was too late to go back now. If someone was in danger, she couldn't waste a single second, whether she could transform or not. 

 

The bluenette took off in the direction which she thought the sound had come from. After running for several minutes, she heard it again. This time words were distinguishable in the panicked shouting. 

 

'No! Marinette!' 

 

What?

Marinette sprinted forwards as fast as she could. As she got closer the helpless cries grew louder.

 

Why hadn't she grabbed her earrings? This would have been a hell of a lot easier as Ladybug. 

 

She followed the noise as well as she could and swung round buildings, darting down side roads, through narrow, winding alleyways until she found the source of the noise. In the very back of one alley which led to a dead end, a teenage boy slumped on the floor.

 

'Adrien Agreste,' Marinette muttered. 'We have got to stop meeting like this.'

 

She dropped into a crouch on the path next to him. He seemed to be asleep, but it obviously wasn't a peaceful one.

 

His face was as white as a sheet and glistening as if he had a fever or something. When she reached out to touch his skin, if felt cold and clammy.

 

She shuddered.

 

It reminded her of the morning before when Chat - when he - was standing outside the bakery, looking haunted. Marinette knew that if his eyes were open now, they would hold the same troubled look. 

 

'Adrien,' she hissed, shaking his shoulder. She had to wake him up. 'Adrien!'

 

She had to wake him up from whatever terrible nightmare he was having.

 

Taking hold of both of his shoulders, the girl shook him as hard as she could, afraid she'd never wake him. Should she be calling Alya? Nino? An ambulance, maybe?

 

But after a minute of being shaken violently, Adrien awoke.

 

When his eyes flew open, Marinette gasped and recoiled; that morning, his eyes held a panicked look.

 

But this...

 

This was different.

Less hunted, more... hunter. Adrien's eyes were filled with passionate fire, but it seemed dangerous. 

 

He looked like he was ready to kill.

And yet... he somehow looked as if he'd just seen a ghost. 

 

***

 

Adrien didn't remember falling asleep. 

 

But he must have, because he woke up.

 

When he woke up, he was in a dark room, dimly lit only by orange-red candles. He could only just make out a few shapes in the darkness, but even with his eyes not yet adjusted to this light, he knew where he was: he was underground. It smelt musty and damp, and he felt like he'd been buried alive. Just a little less claustrophobic. 

 

The room Adrien was in, if it could be called a room, was mostly shrouded with shadows. But he could see that it wasn't an ordinary room. It was more like a cavern.

 

The cavern was cold.

 

Adrien hauled himself to his feet; he was exhausted and the sudden movement made him feel dizzy. As soon as he was standing up, light fell over the cavern. The light of hundreds, maybe thousands, of orange-red candles. 

 

A shift in the air alerted him of a movement behind him.

 

'Adrien,' a low voice growled.

 

He spun around, coming face to face with his father.

 

'Father! I'm so glad you're here! We need to find a way out, and fast!'

 

'I don't think so.'

 

'What? What do you mean? We need to-'

 

'Sit down.'

 

'What? Why are you-'

 

'I said sit down!'

 

In the blink of an eye, Adrien found himself sat on a regular kitchen chair, his hands resting on his lap. Strange - the chair hadn't been there before.

 

'You have a very important decision to make, son.'

 

'What? Why would I-'

 

That's when Adrien noticed his father's face. It looked unusual. Warped. There was darkness in his eyes.

 

'Father!' he gasped. 

 

The cavern fell into darkness once more.

 

It must have been dark for a minute or two, but it felt like hours. When the candles came back on, there were just two. Two candles illuminating two faces a few metres in front of him.

 

Two faces he knew so well.

 

'Ladybug!' he gasped, trying to run forwards to her. But now his hands were tied tightly behind the chair.

 

'Marinette? What are you doing here?! Get out! Go and get help!'

 

Then he realised their hands were bound too - but they didn't have the comfort of chairs. They were slumped on the floor. Conscious, but only just. 

 

'It's okay, Adrien! We trust you. You'll make the right decision.'

 

It was Marinette who had spoken. Or so it seemed; Ladybug's mouth moved as well. But only one voice was heard. Their equally blue eyes stared desperately at him.

 

'You have a very important decision to make, Adrien.'

 

His father - or whatever that thing was - stood beside him still.

 

'But... what do you mean? What decision?'

 

'One dies. The other...' he flipped a coin in the air, catching it perfectly, '...walks free.'

 

Adrien laughed. 'No. I can't do that. Let them go.'

 

His voice was shaking.

 

'Make your choice, Adrien, or I'll leave you here alone. In the dark.'

 

Adrien wasn't particularly afraid of the dark. But he was used to having night vision when he was transformed. And he did not enjoy being in enclosed spaces. Although the cavern was relatively open, the thought of dozens of metres of earth above him, waiting to cave in...

 

'I- I can't! I c-couldn't do that. Please, don't make me choose between them!'

 

'Fine. Have it your way. I'll just end them both myself. And all of your other silly little friends whilst I'm at it.'

 

Marinette and Ladybug spoke up, mouths both moving but one voice escaping, just like before.

'Adrien! Just pick! It's one life for so many others. Just choose!'

 

He shut his eyes. He couldn't choose. 

Marinette was his classmate. She was his friend.

 

But Ladybug... she protected Paris. He needed Marinette but Paris needed Ladybug.

 

'I... I'm sorry Marinette. I'm sorry, but Paris needs Ladybug!'

 

Marinette hung her head. 'It's okay,' she whispered. 'I understand.'

 

Tears starting to form in his eyes, Adrien turned to his father. 'There. I chose. What more do you want?!'

 

His voice sounded desperate.

 

But his father wasn't done. He took a step forwards and dropped a gun into Adrien's lap.

 

'Do it.'

 

It was a small thing, no bigger than a cheap toy gun you'd find in a costume shop. It looked harmless. And yet Adrien knew that this weapon was the opposite of harmless. The gun felt heavy in his lap, and the cold metal seeped through his jeans, causing his blood to run cold. 

 

'Oh, no. No. No, I can't.'

 

His father shrank in on himself, dissolving into a thousand black moths.

 

'Fine. Then I'll leave you here to rot,' a thousand voices shrieked. A piercing, inhuman screech echoed through the cavern as the moths crumbled into dark shards of glass and rained to the ground.

 

Adrien covered his ears and screamed. This wasn't real. It couldn't be.

 

'Adrien,' Marinette whispered. 'Just shoot me. If you don't, who knows what your dad will do.'

 

'I can't. I couldn't do-'

 

'Please.'

 

He picked up the gun. It was heavier than he thought it would be. Wait, weren't his hands tied a moment ago? This was getting more and more confusing. 

 

His hands shaking, Adrien held it out in front of him, aiming in Marinette's direction.

 

'Please forgive me.'

 

He turned his head away, closed his eyes and pulled the trigger.

 

She didn't scream. She didn't make much sound at all. Just a slight gasp and then... nothing.

 

He couldn't bring himself to open his eyes. He didn't want to see her body.

 

Her body.

 

Marinette's dead body.

 

He was a murderer.

 

How long he'd been sitting there was unclear - but he was startled by a  voice.

 

Her voice. 

 

'Adrien. Adrien!'

 

Hands gripped his shoulders, shaking him.

 

His eyes flew open. His eyes - the eyes of a killer. His green killer's eyes flew open and he found himself staring into hers. 

 

Her beautiful blue eyes.

 

Adrien felt himself grow cold, an overwhelming sense of fear and dread washing over him.

 

Marinette was dead.

 

He was looking into the eyes of her ghost. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow.. that was...
> 
> Yeah.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, and see you on Monday! :D
> 
> I'm @protectchatnoir on tumblr if ya wanna find me there, as usual your kind feedback is appreciated sooo much, and any questions are totally welcome if you wanna ask something!!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien finds himself in someone else's home, not quiet knowing what's real and what isn't.
> 
> Marinette tries to help her friend, but it's harder than she thought it would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup folks, welcome to chapter twelve, this is a surprisingly non angsty chapter, so enjoy yourself while you can!
> 
> There is a little memory loss n stuff here but overall it's okay.
> 
> Enjoy! :D

Chapter Twelve

 

Adrien didn't know where he was - he didn't remember much. But he remembered hurting someone. Why did he have such an apprehensive feeling? This wasn't the hospital.

In the hospital, the lights were bright and it smelt of disinfectant. This wasn't like that.

It smelt of home.

 

Not his home.

 

The bed was comfy though. Comfier than his bed; probably less expensive, but softer and a hell of a lot more comforting. 

The room was dark, but Adrien knew he had been here before. A scent of home baked goods and faint perfume lingered in the air.

 

He'd been here before. 

 

Marinette. 

 

It was Marinette's house, he knew it. The silhouetted shapes in the room were familiar. Yes. Marinette. 

 

But... hadn't he..?

 

'Adrien?' a soft voice whispered. 'Are you awake?' 

Something shifted on the end of the bed and a dark figure sat up.

Adrien screamed.

 

'Hey! It's just me! Adrien, it's me, Marinette! Please stop screaming!'

 

He stopped but backed away as far as he could until he was pressed again the wall behind the bed.

'Are... you a ghost?' His voice sounded strained as if he hadn't used it for some time.

 

'No. I'm not a ghost. Why would you say that?'

 

'Because I killed you.'

 

Marinette took a shaky breath.

'Okay,' she said. 'Okay. Well, I think that was just a nightmare.'

 

Shaking his head, Adrien tried to sit up and get more comfortable. 'No, it wasn't a dream. It was real. You were there, and so was Ladybug.'

 

The girl on the foot of the bed smiled as if they shared some kind of joke.

'It can't have been a dream then, now, can it?'

 

Adrien frowned. He didn't understand her.

'What do you mean?'

 

She stopped smiling and shook her head.

'Nevermind. Adrien, I promise you that it was just a dream. Listen.'

 

He nodded. It wasn't a dream, he was sure of it. But he listened to Marinette nonetheless. 

 

'It's about six p.m. - you were asleep for over twelve hours. I wasn't sure if I should call a doctor. I mean, you could've... anyway. This morning at, like, four o'clock, I was woken up by someone screaming. It was you. You were asleep in an alleyway a little way away from here, having a horrible dream.'

 

That didn't make sense. Why would he be sleeping there?

 

'Adrien... why were you sleeping there?'

 

He shook his head.

'I don't know. I was heading home... but then I didn't really want to... go home. I had a fight with... someone.'

 

Who was he yelling at? Oh. Plagg.

 

Adrien absent-mindedly reached down to he finger to fiddle with his ring.

 

It wasn't there.

 

'Oh, shit. Shit!'

 

'What? Adrien, what's up?!'

 

'Take me back to where you found me now! I need my ring! I was mad with Plagg; I took my ring off and now... shit!'

 

He realised he'd just been talking about his miraculous and kwami in front of Marinette. Luckily he hadn't been talking too clearly. She probably wouldn't even understand. She was probably extremely confused.

 

But she didn't look confused.

 

She looked as if she understood perfectly. Oh no.

 

No, no, no.

 

'It's okay. We'll go back and find your ring. Don't worry. We'll go in the morning when it's light.'

 

'How did I get home? I don't remember walking.'

 

'Hey!' Marinette sounded indignant. 'I'm stronger than I look!'

 

Adrien laughed. 'You carried me?!'

 

She nodded, now looking slightly awkward. 

'Well, it wasn't exactly one smooth run. I stopped a few times. It took a while.'

 

'Where are your parents?'

 

'Germany.'

 

'Oh.'

 

'Yeah.'

 

'So I just want to clarify: you're alive. You're not a ghost. I didn't kill you.'

 

'Yup.'

 

'Okay, so that was... a dream. Now I'm at your house. Your parents aren't here. I was asleep for like a day.'

 

'Yes.'

 

Adrien frowned. 

'Okay. What I'm confused about is... well, I don't really know how to ask, but... you know how I was talking about my ring that's missing?'

 

Marinette sighed. 'Oh. Right.'

 

'How much do you... know?'

 

'I... everything. I know everything. Well, maybe not everything, but... I know. I know you're Chat Noir.'

 

***

 

Marinette perched on the end of her bed, watching him cautiously. She knew. And now he knew that she knew.

 

'Right. Of course you know. The coma, the...'

 

Adrien trailed off and stared at her, not quite meeting her eye.

 

'Do... you hate me?'

 

Marinette practically choked at that.

'Why would I hate you?!'

 

'Well, I wouldn't be surprised. I hate myself.'

 

'No, Adrien, don't say that!'

 

'If I didn't say, I'd still feel it. Where's the sense in that?'

 

She frowned, ready to argue, but paused.

'...Isn't that a line in a song?'

 

Adrien blushed.

 

'Whatever, nevermind. Adrien, I don't hate you. No one hates you.'

 

'My father hates me.'

 

'No he doesn't.'

 

'He does! Otherwise he wouldn't have made me choose.'

 

'Choose what?'

 

He frowned and stared downwards, muttering something incoherently.

 

'..Adrien?'

 

The boy squeezed his eyes shut, not responding.

 

This was obviously going no where.

 

'I'll get you something to eat.'

 

Marinette clambered off the bed and down to the kitchen to get Adrien some food.

~

She came back with a mug of warm milk and some chocolate chip cookies.

 

'Thanks,' he murmured, gratefully taking the mug from her and sipping it carefully.

 

There was a hesitant silence between them for what felt like an eternity.

 

'So... you said you found me at, what, like, four a.m.?'

 

'Mm.'

 

'I've been asleep for..?'

 

'Like, fifteen hours or something.'

 

'Oh.'

 

'Yeah.'

 

Marinette watched nervously as he chewed his lip, obviously thinking about what to say.

 

'Please don't make me go home.'

 

His voice cracked a little as he said that. It broke Marinette's heart.

 

'Of course I won't. You can stay here.'

 

The silence resumed.

 

'But... you know they're going to come looking, right?'

 

Adrien looked at her quizzically.

 

'I mean... your dad, he'll probably try to find you.'

 

He shrugged and took another sip of milk.

'Maybe.'

 

'Adrien... you know he loves you, right? I know you're hurting now, but..'

 

She paused to look at the boy lying in her bed. It was a little weird, if she was honest. And she had no idea what to do with him. Obviously he couldn't go home.

 

'Wait... I went to sleep on... Monday night, right? You found me on... Tuesday morning. Now it's Tuesday evening.'

 

'Yeah.'

 

'You went to school?'

 

'No.'

 

'Why?'

 

'I couldn't just leave you alone.'

 

'Hm.'

 

Things went quiet again as his eyes closed. She watched him closely. Was he feeling better? It was hard to tell. Maybe he just felt more comfortable now that he was away from home. Was Gabriel Agreste really that bad?

 

She sighed, louder than she'd intended, causing Adrien's eyes to flutter open again.

 

'Are you alright?' he asked softly. 'I'm sorry if I'm being a burden.'

 

'No, no! Not at all. It's just... I'm a little worried about you. I guess... I want to talk to you about what's going on, but I...'

 

How could she say "I don't really trust what you say because I think you're maybe a little screwed in the head" nicely? 

 

'I think you're probably a little too, um... tired... to think about this properly.'

 

'Oh. Okay.'

 

A sudden and even more awkward silence followed.

 

'Adrien. You can't keep going on like this. Being Chat and being Adrien at the same time. It's just... too much. You need to get your strength back and, well, get back on your feet. You know you haven't been... yourself lately.'

 

Adrien frowned.

 

'Chat? Chat Noir?'

 

'Yeah... I think it's too much pressure for you to-'

 

'What? You mean you know?!'

 

His voice had dropped to a harsh whisper.

 

Marinette shuddered. There was definitely something wrong with him.

 

'Yeah. Yeah, I thought we established that?'

 

He nodded, his voice regaining his usual tone. 'Right. Sorry, I forgot. I guess I, um, let the cat out the bag, huh?'

 

Adrien gave a half hearted wink. 

 

She chuckled slightly. It was a little odd to hear Adrien make stupid jokes, but it kind of make sense now. He was Chat Noir, and Chat Noir was literally the master punner. 

 

But even though it had been mildly amusing, Marinette soon went back to feeling worried. He'd forgotten? It was literally only ten minutes ago that they'd spoken about it.

He obviously picked up on her stress as he layed a hand on her shoulder and smiled.

 

'I'm fine, Marinette. Just tired. I guess sleeping all day makes you... sleepy, huh?'

 

She nodded. 'I want to go check the Ladyblog. If there's been an akuma attack, we need to- I mean, um, you should... I guess what I'm trying to say, is-'

 

'Oh, crap. I need to talk to Ladybug. If there's an attack, she needs to know that I might not be able to show up. But- damn, if I don't have my ring, I can't talk to her. She can't know my identity.'

 

'What do you mean? I already- huh! I mean, um, sure!'

 

Silence.

 

'So, um, Adrien?'

 

'Mm?'

 

'You stay here. Get some rest. Watch the TV if you don't wanna sleep any more. I have something important to do.'

 

'No.'

 

'What?!'

 

'I said no! You're not leaving without me. Not unless you tell me where you're going!'

 

Sighing, Marinette stood up. 'Fine. I'm going to get your ring. Don't you dare follow me.'

 

He looked confused.

'My ring?'

 

'Yeah, your- ugh, nevermind. I'm going to get it.'

 

The bluenette bolted out of her room as fast as she could. On the way she grabbed her earrings from the box where she'd replaced them earlier; she slipped them in as quickly as possible before continuing out of the building. 

 

As soon as she was out in the chill darkness of the late evening, Marinette paused for breath. Her kwami hovered in front of her face.

 

'What's going on?' Tikki asked anxiously. 

 

'I need to find Adrien's ring. I know I said I'd be there for him as Marinette at the moment, but I need to be Ladybug for a little while. If the cat miraculous gets into the wrong hands...'

 

She trailed off, shivering - more because of fear than the cold air.

 

'Don't worry, Marinette. You'll find the ring.'

 

'I'll have to. Tikki, spots on!'

 

The second she had transformed she took off down the road in the direction of the place where Adrien had been earlier.

 

When she got there, Marinette's eyes scanned the ground. The ring was no where to be seen. She looked for at least ten minutes, scouting every possible place it could be. Eventually she noticed something glinting underneath one of the bins which sat unused in the alleyway.

 

Dropping to her stomach, she reached her arm under the bin, trying to get it. The bin was heavy, filled with mouldy furniture from decades ago. Still, Marinette pushed it as hard as she could, until finally it rolled a little, just enough so that she could reach the small silver ring. Chat Noir's ring. 

 

Adrien's ring.

 

How had she never even noticed it before?

 

She knew everything about that boy. How had she never realised the ring which he always wore? For the same reason that he'd never realised she was Ladybug, Marinette guessed. Maybe there was some kind of miraculous magic which protected their identities. 

 

'Spots off,' she muttered, climbing to her feet. 

 

She felt Tikki's eyes on her as she stared down at the ring. Such a little thing. And yet it did so much harm. Chat Noir's cataclysm power was extremely dangerous. It could kill someone, if he wanted it to. Her hands shook as she moved the ring to her right ring-finger. 

 

'Marinette! What are you doing?'

 

The girl ignored her kwami as she slipped it onto her finger. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *dramatic orchestra music*
> 
> Seriously though, WHAT THE HECK MARINETTE?!?! What are thinking you idiot oh ma gawd.
> 
> Anyhow, so yeah.. She knows, he knows she knows, or does he, he's confuzzled, he still half thinks she's dead...
> 
> Whoooo, this is gonna be fun.
> 
> So next chapter comes out on Friday as usual but I'll warn you now that I'm mean for leaving you with this cliffhanger- and to be even meaner, next chapter isn't actually in chronological order. It starts with Adrien's bit, so you don't actually find out what happens with Mari for a while. Mean, I know.  
> Mwahahahaahhaahaha!
> 
> Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and if you have any questions or anything, leave them in the comments or find me on tumblr: @protectchatnoir
> 
> :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ladrien balcony scene that nobody asked for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay well this one's a bit weird because it isn't in time order. Marinette's bit actually comes first, but I wanted to d r a g out that cliffhanger from last time, so I put it at the end. Anyways I hope it isn't too confusing coz I'm still not 100% sure about it xD
> 
> Well I hope you like it regardless ;)

Chapter Thirteen

 

Marinette was taking far too long.

 

In fact, she was taking so long that Adrien began to feel worried. He got out of bed, descended the stairs into the main part of his classmate's room, and paced.

 

It had surely only been ten minutes or so since she'd left, but it felt like a lot longer.

 

It felt like so long that he began to doubt reality altogether. Mari wasn't coming back.

 

He killed her. So how could she?

 

Adrien stopped in his tracks.

 

He killed her? When did that happen? Shaking his head, trying to regain memories. Frustrated, turning in a circle, looking for some kind of clue as to what had happened.

 He remembered the gun which his father gave to him. He remembered pulling the trigger. He remembered..

 

What did he remember? What had happened?

 

Adrien growled in frustration, kicked the desk. Was it a desk, or a chair? His vision was starting to blur again, like it had the day before, in the maths test. Was it the day before? Or was it the day before that? He shook his head again, confused by the amount of time which had passed. How long since he got out of hospital?

 

The room began to spin. He should sit down, right? Or get some fresh air. Fresh air. Okay.

 

As quickly as he could without falling over, Adrien climbed up to Marinette's balcony.

 

It was dark and the cold air brought him back to his senses a little. The floor stopped swaying beneath him.

 

He took a deep breath, trying to focus, trying not to cry. He felt so... empty. Almost as if his mind wasn't really there. He felt different. Different than ever before. Because before, he knew where he was all the time. He knew what was going on. He was alive.

 

But now... now it was different. Adrien Agreste was murderer. Now there was a sense of surrealism. As if he wasn't really there. He wasn't Adrien Agreste anymore.

 

He was a murderer.

 

A pathetic, heartless murderer.

 

Adrien suppressed a sob. Why did it have to be like this? Why did he have to feel so... empty? So numb. Why couldn't it go back to how it was  before?

 

He knew the answer to that, of course. He knew that he could never turn back because he was a murderer. 

 

Can't undo murder.

 

Suddenly there was a flash of red in front of him. For a moment, Adrien thought he was dying. Or maybe Marinette's ghost had come back to haunt him. But then he realised that it was Ladybug. She had swung across onto the building and stood opposite him, on the other side of the railing. Instinctively he took a step back.

 

'L-Ladybug!' he stammered.

 

'Hi.'

 

'Um, what are you?-'

 

'It... doesn't matter. What are you doing out here?'

 

'Uh, Marinette's, um... looking after me.'

 

'Yeah, I know. But you're on the balcony! I would've come in the door- um, I mean, sure! I mean.. yeah. Ha! So, uhh, you feline okay? Feeling, I meant feeling! Not feline. Coz, you're, um, not feline?'

 

Frowning, Adrien took another step backwards. Was she crazy? She had been there when Marinette died, so maybe it was affecting her in the same way it did him.

 

'Ladybug. Can I... ask you a question?'

 

'Um, yeah?' She hauled herself up and perched precariously on the railings, legs dangling over the edge. 'What's up?'

 

He stepped forwards again, resting his elbows on the railing next to her leg.

 

'How did you get out of the cavern?'

 

'Um, what?'

 

'Y'know, the cave.. thing.. where we were..'

 

Probably sounded crazy to her. Maybe he should just give up.

 

'Um, let me try again. So, uh, you were there when Marinette died. When... when I killed her. I couldn't watch. It hurt too much. Did you watch?'

 

Ladybug edged away slightly, obviously a little concerned for his sanity. 

'Adrien.. Marinette isn't dead. I think that it was a dream.'

 

Adrien laughed for a minute too long. He definitely sounded crazy now.

'I would know. I killed her!'

 

He smiled, trying to lighten the mood. Apparently it just made him seem more like a creepy psychopath, because Ladybug looked extremely uncomfortable. 

 

'Um, Adrien? I don't want to sound patronising or anything, but I think maybe you need some help.'

 

"You think I'm crazy.'

 

'No! Not at all!' That sounded very false. 'I mean, not crazy. Not like, crazy crazy. Just maybe a bit...'

 

She seemed to take a long time picking the right word. 'Confused.'

 

He nodded. 

'I am confused. I killed her. Right?'

 

'No, I- ugh, I wish I could tell you the- I hate seeing you like this. I don't know what to do Adrien, I'm not a psychologist, I don't know what to do..'

 

It sounded as though she was talking more to herself than to him.

 

'Okay. I should go. But Marinette will come back soon, I promise.'

 

Adrien nodded sadly. He liked Ladybug. and the last thing he wanted was to freak her out.

 

The last thing he expected was for her to grab his face and kiss him.

 

***

 

When she put the ring on her finger, Marinette could feel the power rush through her veins. It was amazing. Nothing happened, other than a small movement took place in front of her, presumably Adrien's kwami appearing. But although nothing really happened, she still felt it.

 

The overwhelming sense of destruction. It was no wonder Adrien was starting to go crazy with this ultimate destructive weapon at his fingertips.

 

And the sense of absolute power.

 

It was hard to explain what it was. But she felt it nonetheless. 

 

Marinette laughed aloud. 

 

Voices spoke behind her. 

'Make her stop!'

 

'I don't know how!'

 

'You brought this on us by aggravating Adrien! This wouldn't even be happening if-'

 

'Hey, you can't blame me! The kid's annoyi-'

 

'Plagg! You are supposed to look after your miraculous holder, not-'

 

'Whatever! He doesn't look after me. Not that I need looking-'

 

'Why can't you just take it seriously? This is the third time something like-'

 

'Hey, the second time was totally your-'

 

'When Fu finds out about this-'

 

The girl span around to face the arguing kwamis.

'Quiet!' she growled. And then, in a much calmer tone, 'Transform me.'

 

Tikki hovered anxiously beside her.

'Marinette, I don't think that's a good-'

 

'Wait, she's Ladybug? Oh, I should've guessed. When Adrien finds out he's gonna-'

 

'No! You can't tell him! Marinette, please, take the ring off! It's not okay to use both of the miraculous at the same time like that!'

 

She sighed. 'But it'll be so much fun!'

 

The bluenette gave a smug smile. 'You think you can control me. But you can't. I have power over you.' She pointed to Plagg. 'Both of you!' 

 

Plagg scooted back through the air away from her. 

'Tikki, your girl is crazy! I thought we were supposed to look after the holders. How'd you let her get so deranged?'

 

'Plagg, you're not helpi-'

 

'Shut up, both of you. So when I transform, do I get the Ladybug suit or the Chat suit? I presume I get both powers, otherwise, what would the use be?'

 

Her kwami gasped. 'Marinette, please... Hawkmoth might be able to sense the big shift in power. He'll try and akumatize you or... or somehow get hold of both miraculous! It's so dangerous, you have to stop!'

 

'You have no say in what I do.'

 

'No, I don't. But I hope you'll listen to me. As your friend.'

 

'You guys are friends?!' Plagg whispered. 'My relationship with Adrien isn't exactly-'

 

'Please, Marinette. Take the ring off.'

 

The girl's eyes widened, as if she'd only just realised what was going on. She bit her lip, hesitating, until finally with a small sigh stared down at her finger and slowly took the ring off.

 

'Thank you. Please, please never do that again!'

Tikki rushed forwards to hug her as Marinette dissolved into tears.

 

'I'm s-sorry, Tikki, I h-have no idea what I was th-thinking!'

 

'It's okay. It's okay, but we need to go back to make sure that Adrien's okay.'

 

After a few minutes of weeping, Marinette managed to pull herself together and shoot the kwamis an awkward smile.

'So, when did you guys last talk?'

 

They glanced at each other awkwardly. 

It's been a while,' Plagg said, laughing.

 

'Yeah, I guess, um..'

 

'We don't really..'

 

'Talk much..'

 

'To each other, or..'

 

'To our holders about..'

 

'Um, that stuff?'

 

'What?' Marinette was deeply confused. 'You know what, nevermind. I'm going to transform to go back; I'll go in through the roof. Hopefully Adrien is asleep.'

 

'And if he's not?' Tikki asked nervously. 

 

'I don't know, I'll figure it out.' She turned to Plagg. 'Um, do you wanna-'

 

'I wanna stay! Unless you go all evil again. That wasn't fun.'

 

'Hey, I wasn't evil! I was just-'

 

'Whatever. I'm staying. I want to talk to Adrien. And maybe, um... say... sorry?'

 

Marinette raised her eyebrows and Tikki laughed. 

'Wow, Plagg. That would be the first time you've ever apologised to anyone!' the red kwami giggled.

 

'Not true,' he muttered. 'In fact, I distinctly remember-'

 

'GUYS! Do you kwamis ever do anything except argue?! Let's go!'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's a thing, that happened, I guess. Aaaaaaand I hope you enjoyed it!  
> If you have any questions or comments to leave down below that's totally great, or you can find my tumblr, @protectchatnoir. 
> 
> See ya on Monday!~
> 
> :) ☆☆


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien is becoming more and more confused as Marinette tries to deal with the difficult situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo folks, have a little bit of angst to brighten up your Monday morning!
> 
>  
> 
> ..  
> You're welcome.
> 
> So I should probably warn you that this is where things start to get a bit worse regarding a certain somebody's mental state, it's not too bad but there's a bit more death and stuff in this chapter
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!! ;)

Chapter Fourteen

 

Marinette went home as Ladybug. She didn't expect to find Adrien on her balcony. 

She kicked herself for nearly letting slip her knowledge of his secret identity. Marinette knew, but Ladybug didn't. As far as he knew, they were two different people. 

 

She kicked herself for kissing him.

~

'Umm, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-'

 

She was cut off as he cradled her face in his hands and kissed back.

 

She was kissing Adrien.

Okay, maybe it wasn't the first time; she'd kissed Chat. Chat was Adrien.

 

But this... this was _Adrien_!

 

As he pulled away, Adrien frowned slightly. 

'Wha- I, um... I should go.' The blonde turned around and headed towards the entrance to her room.

 

'Wait, Adrien! Where are you going?'

 

'Marinette... is probably back now. She'll be wondering where I am.'

 

She nodded. 'Okay. Bye.'

 

He turned back to face her and smiled slighlty, but it looked forced and a little confused.

'Yeah.'

 

Before he could get back inside, she jumped off the edge of the building, swinging down to the ground and landing perfectly on her feet.

 

'Spots off!'

 

When Marinette was detransformed, she stood in the street outside her home for a few minutes, apprehensive about going inside. 

 

'Marinette, are you alright?' Tikki asked gently.

 

'No!' the girl wailed. 'What am I thinking? I can't go in there! Adrien's halfway to insane-ville and I can't deal with this! I'm not a trained psychiatrist! He needs help, Tikki. He needs serious help and a don't know what to dooooooooo!'

 

She sunk to her knees and rested her head on the pavement, Tikki ducking behind her as a couple of late night walkers went past. One of them stopped next to her.

'Are you alright, miss?' she asked. 

 

Marinette jumped to her feet and smiled. 'I'm fine. I dropped my, um, bag!'- she dropped her bag and then pointed to it- 'Oh look, there it is.'

 

The bluenette grabbed the bag, waved goodbye and darted into the bakery.

The walkers stared after her, slightly perplexed, so she bolted up the stairs as fast as she could. 

'Marinette! That was dangerous, they could have seen me!'

 

'It was hardly my fault,' she grumbled. 'Anyway, I- where's Plagg?'

 

Tikki shrugged. 'Who cares? He's annoying. What are we going to do about Adrien?'

 

Marinette gasped. 'Tikki! It's unlike you to be so rude. We have to find Plagg!'

 

The kwami ignored her. 'You could always go and talk to Master Fu, you know.'

 

Resisting the urge to scold her kwami for being mean about Plagg, she nodded slowly. 'Now there's an idea. But, uh, I want to go to bed first. I'll go tomorrow.'

 

'But Marinette, you can't miss another day of school!'

 

'Yeah I can. I can't leave Adrien.'

 

'But-'

 

'Fine, fine, I'll go to school, aI'll go to see Master Fu afterwards, but I really don't like leaving Adrien! He obviously can't come to school...'

 

The two of them headed up the stairs from the apartment to Mari's room.

'Adrien?' she said nervously. 'Are you, um..-'

 

She ascended the steps up to her bed.

'Adrien? Are you here?'

 

It was dark in the room but Marinette could make out the shape of him lying in her bed. He sat up slowly.

'Hi.'

 

'Oh, hi Adrien.. you're, uh, awake, huh?'

 

'Yes. I mean, I think?'

 

She nodded.

'Okay. Um... I think that, uh,... I mean... I guess, um- what I mean to say is-'

 

'Marinette, sorry to interrupt, but, uh, did you find my ring? I need it. I need to transform so I can talk to Ladybug so she knows... what's going on.'

 

'Uh... no, I couldn't find it.'

 

The bluenette could practically feel Tikki's eyes boring into her head from her position on one of the top steps.

 

'I looked. But, um, it wasn't... around.'

 

She hated having to lie to Adrien. She hated lying. But she honestly didn't trust Adrien in this state of mind to use the miraculous. The ring had some serious destructive power and if he wasn't thinking right whilst using it, someone could get hurt.

 

'I'm sorry, Adrien.' She really was.

 'I know you slept a lot today, but maybe you should try and sleep a bit more. You could use the rest.'

 

Although Marinette knew she should probably go to school tomorrow, she vowed to herself to make Adrien take a bath in the morning before anything else.

 

'Right,' he said. 'Good night, Marinette.'

 

'Good night Adrien.'

 

***

 

Adrien dreamt that there was an akuma attack. He found his ring and transformed to talk to Ladybug, but there was an attack. He had to fight, of course. Some weird akuma which shows you your worst fears. Adrien came face to face with a mirror. He asked himself what it meant. Was he afraid of himself?

Truthfully, yes. He didn't really understand his mind anymore.

The next thing he saw was Nino walking towards him. Nino told him they couldn't be friends anymore, because Adrien was too screwed in the head, or something to that effect. It didn't really make sense because he was transformed, and Nino didn't know his identity. 

But it hurt him to hear those words coming out of his closest friend's mouth.

He was angry.

He summoned his cataclysm power and slammed Nino to the ground.

He watched his best friend crumble to dust beneath his hand.

Oh dear, another person dead because of him.

 

How tragic. 

 

In the dream, after detransforming, Adrien took a Sharpie marker and drew something on his arm.

~

At first, he knew that it was a dream. Nino wasn't dead.

 

But when he woke up, reality was just a little bit warped. Had he woken up to a sunny day with no cares in the world, he would have been fine. He wouldn't have doubted whether his friend was alive. 

 

It hadn't gone like that though.

Adrien woke up to something scrawled in Sharpie on his wrist.

 

DEATH TOLL:

 

There were two tally marks underneath it.

 

The boy shook his head in bewilderment. It wasn't possible. He didn't even have a Sharpie with him. Where was he, anyway? Marinette's house? Why, though? She was dead, right?

 

Climbing out of bed, he looked around the room. Judging by the soft pink light coming in from the window, it was early morning. He stepped cautiously down the stairs and into the main part of the room. Marinette sat on the couch, reading a book.

Well, Marinette's ghost, anyway. She was dead, right? He had killed her. She was dead.

 

'I expected ghosts to look less... corporeal.'

 

She glanced up from her book, clearly startled. 

'E-excuse me?'

 

'Y'know, less... solid, I guess. Also, you look startled. I didn't know ghosts could look startled.' He slid onto the couch next to her. 'I though they did the startling.'

 

Putting the book down, Marinette frowned slightly.

'I, um... I'm not a ghost, Adrien.'

 

'Yeah, you are! I killed you.'

Upon saying this he realised how creepy it might have sounded. After all, she was obviously in denial that she was dead. He shot her a bright smile to lighten the mood, before figuring that probably made it even more creepy. Adrien stopped smiling.

 

'Um, what I mean to say is... Marinette, I'm sorry to tell you this, but you're dead.'

 

The bluenette budged away a little.

'Adrien. I'm not dead.'

 

He pulled his sleeve back to show her the writing on his arm. 

'See? That's you-' he pointed to the first tally mark. 'And that's Nino.'

His finger moved across to the second black line. 

'I killed him last night.'

Adrien smiled again but stopped abruptly before his classmate felt creeped out.

 

'Again. Sorry,' he muttered. 'I didn't mean to-'

 

'It's okay. Um, your clothes are kinda dirty. Can I go and put them in the wash?'

 

He raised his eyebrows.

'I'll be naked.'

 

Marinette blushed furiously and squeaked.

'Um! Uhh, I'll lend you a dad shirt! A dad's shirt! Shirt, I, um... it might be a little big.'

 

They sat in a slightly awkward silence for a moment.

 

'Well, I'll get you some clothes. But you need a bath first, okay? You look...'

 

Adrien shrugged. When was the last time he'd had a bath?

'I don't remember.'

 

She stood up and started backing towards the door.

'Don't remember what?'

 

'What?'

 

'Um, nevermind. I'll go run a bath, I guess.'

 

Nodding, he stood up too. 'Shouldn't we be going to school, or something?'

 

'Uhh, yeah, but... I guess, but... maybe, just... I'm taking you to see someone today. A... doctor, of sorts. But he'll understand your situation, see; he knows your identity.'

 

'A doctor? You're taking me to a doctor?'

 

Panic rose inside his chest at the thought. Surely if he went to see a doctor they would call his dad and make him go home. He really, really didn't want to do that. If he went home, his dad 

 

'He'll be cross. He won't let me go back to school!'

 

Marinette looked confused. 'What, the... doctor? He won't be cross with you, Adrien.'

 

Her voice sounded soft and gentle. It reminded him of the days when his father hadn't hated him quite as much. A sob escaped his throat, and he felt tears trickling down his cheeks.

 

'Hey, Adrien, hey, please don't cry! Oh god, um, Adrien-'

 

She rushed forwards and wrapped her arms around him, rocking him gently.

'Hey, hey, it's alright...' she whispered in a soothing tone. 'It's going to be okay.'

 

'I'm... sorry!' he sobbed. 'I'm so, so sorry!'

 

Adrien wailed into her shoulder, trembling all over. He couldn't really remember what he was sorry for any more, just that he was sorry. For breaking down, for killing her, for

 

'Everything.' 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoaaaaa.  
> So he thinks she's dead and is just super confused, she's struggling to deal, she found his ring but didn't tell him? Girl??
> 
> Anywho, I hope you liked it! Also, (with the risk of sounding cheesy xD) I wanna say thank you to everyone who's been reading this, commenting and leaving kudos, it really means the world to me to know that people are enjoying this fic! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!! :D   
> So as usual, feedback or questions are totally cool, you can comment here or shoot me an ask on tumblr @protectchatnoir ;)
> 
> (psst if you're reading this as a whole fic and it's like one a.m., go get some sleep okay)


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annnnnnd he finally gets that bath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oookay, here we are, chapter fifteen, wow! It's a bit earlier than usual but consider this an extra chapter, I'll still upload one on Friday and one next Monday as usual.  
> (Also I think I'm experiencing that thing where the summaries start okay and then you just can't summarise the chapter and it falls apart hahaha)
> 
> Hope you enjoy!! :D

Chapter Fifteen

 

'Everything? W-what do you mean, everything?'

If Marinette was worried before, she was completely panicking now. What could she do? He obviously needed help. He thought she was dead, he had a complete emotional breakdown and now he was saying random words that didn't even make sense?

Adrien frowned.

'I thought I thought that?'

 

The bluenette frowned in turn.

'What.. do you mean?' 

He shrugged, and Marinette pushed him away slightly, holding him by his shoulders.

'Listen...' she began cautiously. 'Um, let's go get you into the bath, and then we'll go see this... uh, friend of mine. He isn't really a doctor, so you don't mean to be scared. But he can help you. Okay?'

He nodded with a sad sort of smile.

'Okay. Let's go then. I'll get you one of my dad's old shirts. 

~

Once she had run a bath she helped Adrien climb into it. He was wearing an old red t-shirt which her father probably hadn't worn in years - Marinette figured that he might need help washing his hair, and she didn't want him to feel exposed.

The warmth of the water seemed to shock him a little, and he sat in silence.

'Are you okay?' she said quietly. 

Adrien nodded without saying anything.

'Do you... do you want me to... wash your hair?'

The boy nodded again.

'Okay. Um...'

Marinette turned the shower on and soaked his hair before reaching for the bottle of shampoo. She squeezed a little into her hand, then rubbed in into his hair. It felt matted and tangled. Surely it wasn't this bad when she'd been stroking his hair on top of the roof? That was only two days ago. But maybe two more days without brushing or washing it had been enough to push it over the edge?

 

'Ow.'

She snapped out of her thoughts when she realise she was pulling Adrien's hair a little.

'Oh, sorry. Um, let me get a brush.' 

 

After she was back with a hairbrush, Marinette attempted to comb through her classmate's hair. It took nearly an hour, but eventually she managed to restore it to it's usual state, and softened it with conditioner.

'Phew. Well, I'm done. Um, you should probably finish washing; I'll just be in my room, okay? There are some clean towels over the radiator. Give me a shout when you're ready for clean clothes and I'll bring them in.'

She smiled and walked out of the bathroom. Once Marinette was back upstairs in her room, she sat down on the couch with her head in her hands.

Out of the corner of her eyes the bluenette saw her kwami fly out from inside her jacket. 

'Marinette!' she exclaimed. 'I thought you were going to go to school today!'

'I am! C'mon Tikki, it's only-' she checked her phone- 'nine a.m. - I'm not that late.'

Later than she'd thought.

 

'Well you can't leave Adrien alone now. Fine, have it your way. Stay home. But I don't think your parents will be very pleased with all these absences!'

Tikki flew towards the window.

'I'm going to find Plagg. If you need me, I'll-' The kwami stopped, looking thoughtful. 'Marinette, why did you tell Adrien you couldn't find his ring?'

 

Marinette sighed. 'Do you really think-'

'You weren't planning on using it, were you?'

'What?! Tikki, are you crazy?' she snapped. 'Of course not! I just don't really trust him right now. Seriously, you've seen him! I'll ask Master Fu what to do later, but for now I-

She was cut off by her phone ringing; Tikki shrugged and flew out of the window. Although Marinette hated seeing her kwami unhappy, there was nothing she could do right now - she would apologise later, but this phone call could be important. It could be her parents, or

'Oh, hi, Alya. How's it going?'

' _How's it going? Well, you've been gone for two days and you haven't replied to my messages and I'm worried and have you seen the news? Coz Adrien is missing. Yep, that's right, Adrien Agreste, you know? They think he's been kidnapped or he ran away.'_

 _'_ Really? I, uh, had no idea.'

 

Marinette didn't sound very convincing. 

 

' _Marinette! What did you do?!'_

'Nothing! I, um.. ugh, fine! He's here. But you can't tell anyone.'

' _He's- he's- he's there, huh? There at your house?'_

Alya's voice seemed furious. 

 

'You're not mad, are you? I couldn't reall

 _'Mad? Mad?! Of course I'm mad! They have fricking search parties looking for him, Marinette! You could get in trouble with the police! You could get arrested for kidnapping_!'

'I can't kidnap,' the bluenette replied calmly. 'I am a kid.

' _Marinette_ -'

'Swear you won't tell anyone?'

_'Ugh, I- fine. Honestly girl, I don't know why I do this for you. I should report you right away. Gotta go, class is starting._

'Thank you, love you, bye!'

 

Marinette hung up and sighed. Maybe Alya was right? Adrien wasn't her responsibility. Not anymore. This was way out of her hands. There was nothing she could do for him anymore. 

 

***

 

Adrien walked slowly up the stairs to Marinette's room, wrapped in a towel. He knocked lightly on the trapdoor before poking his head through.

'Marinette?' he asked uncertainly. 'I, uh, don't suppose you have any clothes I could borrow?'

He watched as the girl jumped up from her couch and moved to the chest on the floor beside her.

'Yeah, hang on..' she muttered, and threw a black shirt at him. It hit his face and fell to the ground, leaving him slightly startled. 

 

'Sorry!' Adrien whispered, stooping to pick the shirt up. 

'What? No, no, it's fine, it was my fault, I.. um, I don't know if that'll fit, but I'm afraid that's pretty much the only non-girly thing I have for now. I, uh, can't say the same about the rest of your outfit. All my trousers are in the wash, so-'

 

She reached in the chest and pulled out a denim skirt. 'We'll have to make to with this.'

Adrien shrugged. 'It's okay, I've worn skirts before. Photoshoots and stuff.'

It felt like talking took a lot of effort, so he shut up.

'Okay! Um, I don't think I exactly have any, uh.. underwear stuff that would, um, work for you..

She produced a pair of pink boxer shorts, blushing. 'Will.. these do?'

He nodded. 'Sure.'

'Okay. Uh, black tights for under the skirt..'

She fished a few more things out of the chest, put a few back, and walked over to Adrien to hand him the clothes. 

'Here. There's some deodorant by the sink over there, and I'll be down in the bakery if you need any-'

 

Marinette stopped short and squeaked a little as her computer announced that she had a new e-mail. They both turned to look at the computer and Adrien frowned slightly when he saw it.

'Is that..?'

He took a step towards the desk. Sure enough, the desktop picture was a load of photographs of him.

'That's me.'

 

'That's... you.'

 

'Why-?'

 

'Don't ask.'

 

'But-'

 

'Nothing, it's just that-'

 

'I think it's cool-'

 

'I think you're cool. What?!'

 

Adrien blinked slowly. 

'I... think I'll go and get dressed now.'

 

She nodded and left the room silently, looking seriously embarrassed. Why was she embarrassed? It was normal to have pictures of your friends in your room, right

He shook his head, confused. The room swayed a little as he stepped towards the sink to get dressed. It would help if he had his ring. If he could transform then he could explain to Ladybug why he never showed up. He could apologise to Plagg for being a jerk. He could feel like himself again.

  Since the coma, Adrien had, admittedly felt a little out of sorts. But when he was Chat Noir, things were different. He could focus. When he was with Ladybug, he was happier. 

As Adrien pulled Marinette's shirt on, he glanced down at his arm. The skin was still pink from where Marinette had scrubbed with soap to get the ink off. Even so, her attempts had been in vain. Traces of black pen were still visible. Faint, but visible. A reminder of the people he'd hurt. The people he'd killed. 

 

Two people were dead because of him. 

 

But Marinette, to his utmost confusion, didn't seem dead at all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. that happened I guess  
> xD  
> Poor Adrien I am so goshdarned mean to him jeez. But this work is part of a series and, um.. things may or may not be getting a whooooole lot worse in part two. Ummmmm pretend you didn't hear that I'm not supposed to give things away hehe
> 
> So yeah, let me know whatchya think- please do leave a comment if you have a question or suggestion or whatever, I love reading them! Alternatively you can find me on tumblr @protectchatnoir to send me a message or ask, my askbox is always open and I'd be totally happy to answer anything you wanna know!
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed this chapter and are enjoying this fic, if you've read this fa, thanks for sticking with me, I really love you guys! 
> 
> Well, until Friday! (Which is in two days. And chapter sixteen is.. an.. interesting ride. Whooooo!)
> 
> ;D


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Marinette seeks help for her friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a fun one, have.... fun! ;)
> 
> WARNING: strong negative emotions, guilt, emotional breakdowns, memory loss

Chapter Sixteen 

 

Marinette stood anxiously in the doorway as Master Fu sat meditating on the mat in front of her. It seemed he was aware of her presence, yet he didn't look up or acknowledge her. She cleared her throat.

'Um, Master Fu? I came to talk to you about Adrien.'

 

The old man's eyes opened and he gave her a questioning look.

'You mean to say... you know?'

 

'I know he's Chat Noir.'

 

'I see.'

 

Wayzz, Master Fu's kwami, flew out from behind a leafy green house plants.

'Is Tikki here?'

 

Nodding, the bluenette opened her purse. 'Yes. Plagg as well.'

 

Tikki clambered out of the bag and Plagg followed cautiously. The black cat kwami seemed uncomfortable. 

 

'Marinette!' Fu exclaimed. 'You have both the ladybug and the cat miraculous in your possession.'

 

She bit her lip. 

'I know I'm not supposed to, but if you saw Adrien, you would understand why I didn't give him the ring back. I... I think he's gone mad.'

 

'Is that why you brought him to me?'

 

Marinette gasped. 'How did you know? How do you know he's here?'

 

'Did you expect me to believe that you left him alone in his... current state?' 

 

'Right. Should I go and get him?'

 

Upon his slightly grave nod, she hesitated, wondering what to do about Tikki and Plagg - Adrien didn't know she was Ladybug, and he had know idea that she had his miraculous.

However, Master Fu seemed to pick up on her uncertainty regarding the matter. 

'Chat Noir does not yet know your identity. Perhaps we should keep the kwamis hidden for now. Yes, I think that would be best.'

 

She nodded and stepped from the room.

 

Adrien waited outside the door. She'd given him a pair of dark sunglasses to disguise him a little, which she now took off him and shoved them into her bag. Underneath, his face was blank and unreadable, the whole of his body motionless.

'Adrien..?' she whispered. 'Are you okay? We need to go in now. I mean, if you don't want to, I guess- I just think that this will help and-'

 

His green eyes turned to meet hers, and his previously emotionless face picked up an element of surprise, as if he'd been startled out of his thoughts. 

'Hm?' was all he said in reply.

Although his eyes now gazed into her own, it seemed like he was staring straight through her.

 

Taking the blonde boy's wrist, she anxiously led him back into the room. All three of the kwamis were out of sight. Marinette winced a little as she heard a small crash from behind the plant pot, assuming it was Plagg trying to get back to his holder. Evidently Tikki was holding him back though. She admired how Tikki cared for Plagg; obviously they argued, but the same morning the ladybug kwami had gone to search for him. Clearly she was worried about him, so she'd gone to find him. It wasn't exactly an epic adventure though - the small black cat had been just outside the bakery, scavenging for food. Remembering that he probably hadn't eaten for a while, Marinette vowed to get him something to eat. Before she could find herself wondering what foods Plagg liked, the bluenette's thoughts were interrupted by Adrien's quiet, unsure voice.

 

'I... know you,' he said. 

 

Master Fu smiled and nodded.

'Yes, I believe you do.'

 

Adrien wrinkled his brow. 

'You're... not a doctor, are you?' he whispered. The boy seemed uncomfortable, frightened even.

 

'I'm.. a doctor of sorts, I suppose. I can help you, Adrien Agreste, but not in the way ordinary doctors can. Would you like some tea?'

He gestured to the teapot sitting on the chest of drawers.

 

Shaking his head, Adrien sat down warily on the mat. 

'Why exactly am I here?'

 

'You're here so we can help you. You should be very grateful to have a friend like Marinette, Adrien. And she is very lucky to have you. But you do need help.'

 

'Is this because of the people I killed?'

 

Frowning, the old man cocked his head slightly. 

'What do you mean? Who are the people you killed?'

 

The boy rolled back the black cotton sleeve of Marinette's shirt to reveal the fading ink.

 

Marinette moved forward to sit beside him.

'When I found him in the streets, I think he was having a nightmare. Since then he keeps saying he killed me. I guess he had another dream last night, because..'

 

The way Master Fu closed his eyes and sighed made Marinette's blood run cold.

'You can help him, can't you?' she whispered anxiously.

 

'If this is true, Marinette, then I am afraid that the... situation... is a lot worse than I feared.'

 

***

 

Adrien shook his head as white noise filled his ears. He could hear Marinette talking to the strange man sitting in front of them, but what they were saying made no sense to him. Their words blurred together into long meaningless chains which scraped through his mind, leaving him with a throbbing migraine.

 

The floor seemed to rise and fall beneath him as if there was an earthquake, and the very walls span slightly like he'd just finished a very fast paced dance.

 

Although the early afternoon sunlight drifted in peacefully from the windows, to Adrien it felt like burning flames as they scorched his eyes.

 

The sight of the bright, swaying room was interrupted by a blue - a blue like no other blue, and yet so familiar, as if somehow the fire burning him had been doused by blue, blue water, vast oceans of blue, flooding blue, blue, blue-

 

He knew that shade of blue. Blue, blue, bluebell, he remembered writing a poem about that very shade of blue- blue, bluebell eyes...

 

'Ladybug?' Adrien whispered sincerely, his eyes snapping back into focus after drowning in the sea of her eyes. He knew that it was her, but something was different. So different, very different, _too_ different, he didn't like it. Her eyes were the same, but...

 

There was no mask.

 

He was staring into the eyes of Ladybug, _his_ Ladybug, his Lady. He knew it was her. He just _knew_.

 

But the face those eyes belonged to was from somewhere else, too. He knew it from... school? But Adrien couldn't remember the last time he went to school. And whilst he knew the face, he couldn't match it to a name, or any memories for that matter. Only memories of many patrols with Ladybug, fighting akumas- and Adrien hoped that she hadn't had to fight any without him, as surely she couldn't use Lucky Charm without his Cataclysm, surely that would mess up the status quo, or something. Even so he remembered eating icecream, he remembered kissing her, the memory was so vivid that maybe he could even be reliving the moment now, right this minute, his lips on hers-

 

Adrien felt her hand on his face, pushing him away, saw her blushing furiously, heard her squeak his name in embarrassment-

 

The boy blinked, frowning. 

'I'm sorry, did I just-?'

 

They sat for a moment in a slightly awkward silence, her blushing and apparently waiting for the ground to engulf her so she might be spared from the embarrassing situation, the old man who sat across from them looking down and clearing his throat, Adrien silently willing everything to go away because it was too much, it was all too much and he was juggling the memories- 

the memories of things that had happened and the made-up memories of things that he had perhaps dreamt, and the lost memories he was frantically searching for that had disappeared altogether- 

and the guilt of disappointing his friends and family, especially his father who clearly hated him, the guilt of letting everyone down, of slipping up and ending up in hospital, of slipping up and revealing his identity, of screwing everything up all the time, and the guilt of killing two people, the guilt of being a burden on everyone else as his mind slowly slipped from his grip, his thoughts falling from his fingertips and into the dirt, the guilt of _everything_ , just everything, it was too much, it was too _much_ , it was just too much - the guilt from letting himself down, not keeping hold of his emotions, letting his feelings free, letting tears slide down his face and a scream escape his lungs because _it was too much._

 

 

 

 

It was just too much. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Well, that was chapter sixteen. The whole of part one should be up before Christmas, so yeah it's... it's gonna be fun 
> 
> Find me on tumblr @protectchatnoir if you have any questions, or leave a comment here!
> 
> Well, have a great weekend and I'll see you on Monday >:-)
> 
> ...oh no that wasnt an evil face what r u talkin about haha


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Marinette probably makes some more dumb choices idk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I don't even know how to do summaries any more haha 
> 
> So anyways here is chapter seventeen, hope you enjoy it! ;D

__

 

 

 

Chapter Seventeen 

 

Marinette felt panic consume her as she saw her friend, her classmate, her partner _completely flip out._

 

He'd just.. broken down.

_Is this really what he's been dealing with this whole time_? she thought to herself. _I can't believe I didn't notice. I didn't try to help him. I can't believe I tried to take responsibility for this! I can't help him_.

 

The bluenette shuddered and tried not to cry as she watched her friend scream and sob and entirely break down right next to her. Master Fu, however, looked on quite calmly, waiting for Adrien to finish. He caught her eye and seemed to acknowledge how hard this was, to watch him fall apart.

'It's good for him to let it out,' he said quietly. 'If he keeps this emotion bottled up inside any longer, it will only do him more harm. You can wait outside if you need to, though.'

 

Shaking her head, Marinette breathed out shakily. She didn't dare to say a word, for fear of having a panic attack, or something. 

 

By this point Tikki had apparently given up all efforts of trying to restrain Plagg. The kwami hovered by his holder, who now lay in a foetal position on the mat, stroking his blonde hair softly.

Whispering soothing things in Adrien's ear, Plagg continued to stroke his hair until the boy's screaming and sobbing was reduced to quiet sniffling. Marinette felt genuinely surprised that Plagg could be so caring. In all honestly he'd seemed like a bit of a bitch. Tikki flew out from her hiding place as well, careful not to be seen by Adrien, though Wayzz stayed put. 

Nuzzling the girl's shoulder, Tikki sighed.

'It's okay, Marinette. He's going to be okay. Believe me, we've seen worse.'

 

Fu shot the red kwami a warning look. Apparently there was something she wasn't supposed to know- so naturally, she wanted to know.

 

'What do you mean? What happened?' she asked. 

 

The old man's eyes twinkled as he smiled.

'Curiosity killed the cat, Marinette.'

 

She frowned.

 

'An English idiom. Curiosity can get you in trouble, you know. Well, I suppose you'd better tell her now,' he said, addressing Tikki and Plagg. 'Though not the whole story, mind. Details are not important here.'

 

Plagg perched atop Adrien's hair, still stroking gently, but turned to face Marinette. 

 

'As you know, my miraculous holds the power of destruction. Sometimes... sometimes the power can... corrupt people. One time-'

 

Tikki glared at him, which shut him up. The black cat kwami sighed.

 

'Sometimes the power can drive people crazy. Personally, I don't think that's what happened to Adrien. He was struggling anyway. His mother left, his father, Gabriel-' he practically spat the man's name, 'is basically abusive, always forcing him to do things and guilt tripping him and threating him by saying he can't go to school if he slips up... and he's been dealing with a lot, you know? So I don't think the ring's power is corrupting him. Maybe it's contributing to this... breakdown, or whatever you want to call it. It's definitely not the cause, though.'

 

Marinette nodded gravely.

'We should have seen this coming, right?'

 

Plagg shrugged. 'Maybe. But even if we had, we probably couldn't have done anything about it. We might be able to now, though.'

 

He turned to Master Fu, who had heard the question in the kwami's voice, and answered honestly. 

'I don't know if we can help him. Actually, I know for certain that we _can_ help him. Whether we can cure him is another question. He needs our help regardless.'

 

The girl felt herself frowning again.

'You said "cure" him...' she began. 'What exactly are we curing him of?'

 

Fu sighed.

'I'm not a medical professional, Marinette. But it's quite clear to me that the boy is depressed- and whilst we can't exactly "cure" that, there are things we can do.'

 

'Like... therapy?'

 

'Indeed I think we should have regular meetings to discuss his problems, and emotions. It's a difficult situation, you see, as no one can know his identity.'

 

'But you can help him.. right?'

 

The room fell into near-silence, the only sound being Adrien's heavy breathing as he lay curled on the mat.

 

'I think so, Ladybug. And I think you can help him too, if you will. We'll see.'

 

***

 

When he woke up, the world was still.

 

There was no more white noise, no more flood of emotions. Just quietness. 

 

Adrien was vaguely aware of someone stroking his hair, and remembered lying on the rooftops, his head in Ladybug's lap. He briefly considered the possibility that the last few days had been a terrible dream: he would wake up on the rooftops, head still resting on her lap. None of the past.. two days? Three days? None of it had happened. 

Soon they'd go to get icecream and everything would be fine.

 

He heard Ladybug's voice, too. But he was certain it hadn't been a dream, and the cool breeze stirring his hair felt more like a room's air conditioning than wind at the top of high buildings. The hair stroking stopped and he suddenly smelt tea.

 

His green eyes opened slightly, taking in the space around him: it seemed to be some kind of massage shop, or something. He saw kwamis - three kwamis, which was odd. Was that.. was that a Ladybug kwami? Surely that meant...

 

Shifting into a sitting up position, Adrien stretched his arms and looked around. It was slowly getting dark, late afternoon or early evening maybe, and the room was lit by a dim lamp. An old man sat in front of him on the mat he'd been resting on, reading on even older book.

 

'I... know you,' the boy whispered. 

The man glanced up and smiled.

'Ah, Adrien,' he said. 'You're awake.'

 

At this, someone shifted on the mat next to him, yawning. With a flash of dark blue-black hair, he found himself staring into her sleepy face. 

 

'M... Marinette?' Adrien murmured. 'What are you...'

 

The small red kwami hovering in front of him caught his eye. Suddenly the pieces slid together and he finally understood. 

 

'Marinette. You're... you're Ladybug, aren't you? That's how you knew about this place. That's why Ladybug was on your balcony that night. Because it was you. It was you all along. It was you all along, wasn't it?'

 

She nodded, and sighed.

 'Yeah, it was me. I didn't want to tell you.. I didn't want to give you other stuff to worry about..'

 

'I'm sorry for everything. For slipping up.. for letting you down. I'm sorry for throwing my ring and losing it and-'

 

'Adrien.'

 

'Yes?'

 

'It's okay.'

 

'It is?'

 

'Yeah.'

 

The two teenagers sat in silence for a little while.

 

'Marinette?'

 

'Mm?'

 

'I have a few questions.'

 

The bluenette cupped her hands for Tikki to land in and nodded to Plagg, who now sat on the mat with Wayzz, drinking tea out of thimbles.

 

'I found your ring. I kept it because you were a bit... and I didn't want you to be in danger.'

 

 

Plagg glanced up after realising his holder was up. The kwami picked up the ring which sat beside him and flew with it to Adrien's lap.

 

'Kid, I'm.. I'm sorry for saying that stuff, about your dad, and.. and if you'll take the ring back, then..'

 

Adrien smiled slightly and took the ring from him.

'It's okay. And I'm sorry for yelling and throwing the ring off, and.. yeah, I'll take it back. If you want me to.'

Plagg laughed and flew forward to hug him.

'Of course. You're one of the best black cats I've had.'

 

Smiling, the blonde slid the ring back onto his finger.

The room was quiet again apart from the slight rustling from the old man turning the pages of the book.

 

'So..' Marinette began. 'You, uh, have questions?'

 

He nodded. 

'A few. Um, where should I start? You're... you're Ladybug. And.. I'm, uh, Chat Noir. And you know, and I know.'

 

'Yeah.'

 

'Okay. Um, where are we?'

 

'Uh, Adrien this is Master Fu- he's the last know me be of the Order of the Guardians, which is an, um, thing, that does stuff, and-'

 

Her sentence was cut off by a loud crash outside. The group of people and kwamis collectively jumped up, eyes wide.

 

Wayzz shuddered. 'That's definitely an akuma...' he whispered. 'I sense it. Paris needs its heroes.'

 

Marinette moved as fast as lighting. Within seconds, she was Ladybug. Adrien felt himself gaping at her; although the transformation had been a blur, it was weird to watch, and he still wasn't used to the idea that Marinette was Ladybug. Awkward, shy, clumsy Marinette. And yet somehow, it made perfect sense.

 

She tapped her foot impatiently.

'Well? Are you going to transform, or not?'

 

Master Fu shut his book and placed it in a drawer. 'You two should go. Wayzz and I will be waiting here if you need anything. Good luck.'

 

Marinette - Ladybug- didn't need to be told twice. She grabbed Adrien by the wrist and dragged him from the room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooooow so there ya have it, chapter seventeen :D  
> So... Adrien probably shouldn't be out fighting akumas, riiiight? Told ya Mari would so something dumb. Master Fu probably shouldn't have let him go -_-
> 
> I hope you liked it, feedback is very much appreciated- and you can find me on tumblr @protectchatnoir ;)
> 
> Have a fabulous week!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Adrien pretends to be Okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And things become awkward.  
> Yo! So eeeeek here is chapter eighteen! I hope you enjoy it ;D
> 
> WARNING: mild violence, language, also blood

Chapter Eighteen

 

'Wait, I haven't even transformed!'

 

Adrien grabbed Plagg and shoved him in his jacket as Ladybug dragged him outside. Once they were outside, she dropped his wrist and raised her eyebrows.

 

'Well?' she demanded. 'What are you waiting for?'

 

'I... nothing, it's just.. it's been a while since I transformed, and.. isn't it... weird?'

 

'Adrien. It's been like, three days. It's not weird. It's not different. It's just.. us. It's still us.'

 

'But I have so many questions, and- whoa! What the fuck!'

 

A green light flashed in his eyes, temporarily blinding him. When the spots of light blocking his vision cleared, Adrien found himself on his knees. He heard Ladybug's stifled laughter.

 

'I guess Plagg got bored of waiting, huh?' she giggled.

 

'Wha-'

 

Adrien glanced down at his gloved hands, and reached up to feel the mask on his face, and cat ears on his head.

 

'What the- I didn't know he could do that.'

 

Ladybug reached down to help him up.

He accepted her hand and got to his feet. 

'Thanks, M'Ladybu-'

 

He felt himself blushing as the realisation hit him. This was Marinette. This was Marinette he'd been flirting with the whole time. Marinette he'd _kissed_.

She apparently didn't notice his awkwardness, just turned and started running down the street. 

 

'Come on, Adri- uh, Chat, we need to go!' she yelled over her shoulder. 

 

He broke into a slightly pathetic jog and followed.

 

After half a minute of running, Ladybug stopped abruptly. Although he was a few metres behind her, he misjudged how long it would take to stop and crashed into her, sending her stumbling forwards. 

She landed on the ground for a split second before springing back to her feet, brushing herself down.

 

'What. The _fuck_. Is _that_?'

 

Adrien- _Chat_ , he was Chat now- noted her expression of disbelief and followed to where her finger pointed. Around twenty metres down the street sat a small, hot pink-

 

'Is that an.. elephant?' he breathed in confusion, face quickly mimicking Ladybug's.

 

'I don't.. know? Is it the akuma?' 

Chat was startled by her sudden laughter. 

 

'What are you laughing at?'

 

She sputtered and cackled as he stood by, perplexed. 

 

'Nothing.. it's just that- that-' she erupted into laughter again. 'If that's the akuma, then-'

 

Suddenly there was a brilliant flash of blue light. Something shot past them with a whistling sound- it seemed to be some kind of laser. He dived at Ladybug and brought her to the ground, pinning her underneath him. How many times had _that_ happened? He seemed to remember him landing on top of her on more than one occasion. Landing on top if _Marinette_.

 

'What out, Buginette, it would've made me quite _blue_  if you'd gotten hit.'

 

'Buginette? That's new.'

 

He shrugged. 'Eh, it works.'

 

Another blue laser flew past, aiming directly at them. They rolled to dodge it. Electric blue sparks showered up in the exact place where they'd just been, followed by sizzling smoke of the same colour. Chat gulped, and hurried to stand up.

 

'That, uh, could've been us, Bug. Maybe we should-'

 

He sidestepped another laser.  'Move?'

 

Ladybug nodded.

'Right. Maybe we should take this to the rooftops. Are you okay to-'

 

He growled, cutting her off.

'I'm _fine_.' He jumped over a laser and danced round another. Realising he'd sounded pretty aggressive he added, 'I mean, c'mon, you've seen me play dodgeball. I'm good at this kinda stu-'

 

A sudden impact on his back sent Chat flying forwards. He landed face first on the road.

 

'Chat! Are you okay?'

 

At first he couldn't see anything. There was something it his eye. He reached a clawed hand up to his forehead; the skin was grazed just above the top of his mask from hitting the concrete, and a little blood was trickling into his eye. Wiping it away, Chat climbed to his feet. There was a bit of blood in his hair, too.

 

'Aww,' he said, laughing shakily. 'You only just washed it this morning!'

 

Ladybug propelled herself towards him and picked him up, flinging him over her shoulder. 

 

'Hey! Put me down!' he cried indignantly.

 

She ignored his protests and yo-yoed them the top of the nearest building.

 

***

 

As soon as they were out of sight behind a chimney, Ladybug placed Adrien- _Chat_ \- on the roof. 

 

'Holy shit, Chat.. are you okay?'

 

He lay still and groaned.

'Fine... hurts..

 

'What _happened_?'

 

'Dodged a bullet.' He laughed. 'Get it? Ah,  nevermind. Dodged a laser, I was facing away from that.. thing.. hit my back, I think..'

 

She rolled him onto his stomach, examining his back. There was a large black scorch mark on his baton, which hung in it's usual place from his belt.

'It looks like the laser hit your staff,' she muttered. 'The impact sent you flying. Hurt quite a bit, I guess?'

 

He groaned again.

'Just a _bit_. Lucky these weapon-y things are indestructible, huh?'

 

'Lucky?' She snorted. 'If the laser had hit even a millimetre away from where it did, you'd be dead. That's some kind of luck.'

 

'Some kind of luck, huh? Well, I can live with that. Better than no luck at all.'

 

'Chat?'

 

'Yeah?'

 

'You're an idiot.'

 

Rolling into a sitting position, he winked.

'You may be on to something there.'

 

'I _may_ be on to something? I _am_ on to something. You're an idiot.'

 

He gave a defeated sigh and stuck his hands in the air.

'Fine. But I'm your idiot.'

 

Ladybug rolled her eyes. It was _Adrien_ \- but she'd known that he was Chat for a while now. It wasn't really any different. The only difference was that... he knew she was Marinette now. And he may or not still be halfway to crazy. And his ring didn't-

 

'Wait, didn't I say that before?'

 

'Say what, Bugaboo?'

 

She shoved a hand in his face.

'I'm your idiot. I said that. Hey, I said that first! You stole it!'

 

'Whatever. You probably got it from the internet or something.'

 

'The _internet_? What do you take me for?!'

 

'Well, _I_ don't know what you do in your spare time.'

 

'I'm sorry. Are you suggesting that I-'

 

'Shouldn't we be fighting crime, or something?'

 

She stuck her tongue out. 

'Fine. But I'm not letting this go. Are you still hurt? Are you good to go?'

~

Ladybug located the akuma soon enough- the nasty bug hid in the gold tiara which perched on top of the small.. pink... elephant's head. They just had to get it without having several limbs disembodied by lasers in the process.

 

When she called for her Lucky Charm, she found herself standing on the street with what seemed to be a red and black spotted metal boomerang in her hand. 

 

'What the fresh heck?' she cried in desperation. 'Why does my super power have to be so- ugh! Wishy washy!'

 

Chat frowned, spinning his baton as a shield to the dozens of electric blue lasers flying at them.

'Do you even know what "wishy washy" means, Bug?'

 

'Who cares? Who needs a god damn boomerang?!'

 

'Oh, for crying out loud. Let _me_ have a look. I'll figure it out, if you're so bad at using your super power.'

 

It was honestly _miraculous_ how he'd gone from having an emotional breakdown less than an hour before to acting like his usual annoying self. 

 

'Ladybug. Just throw it to me. Don't worry, it probably won't come back to you anyway. I can't imagine you're much good at throwing boomerangs.'

 

'Oh, and I suppose you are qualified in the sport of boomerang throwing?' Ladybug shot back.

 

'It's not a _sport_ , M'Lady. It's an _art_ -'

 

Chat gave a high pitched scream as she sent the metal boomerang whizzing past his head.

'I thought they were supposed to be made of wood!' he squealed.

 

Contrary to Chat's- and honestly Ladybug's- belief, he didn't catch it; and it did actually turn in the air and start flying back towards her.

 

Along with Chat Noir's baton.

 

She stared down in to her hands at the metal boomerang and Chat's stick which seemed to have, well... stuck. Ladybug took the stick and yanked it off, feeling a familiar sensation of force between the two metal objects.

 

'Ohhhh!' she exclaimed. 'It's _magnetic_! That makes sense.'

 

Meanwhile, Chat stared down in to his hands, which were now empty of his baton, which had been doubling as his shield. It took a moment to click, but-

 

'Shit!'

 

He took a diving roll to the ground to dodge a rapid fire of lasers.

 

'I don't suppose you, ah,-'

 

Ladybug glanced down to where her partner was rolling this way and that to avoid the blue sparks zapping at him.

 

'Don't suppose you have a plan?'

 

'I do, actually.'

 

He jumped up and ducked behind a lamp post.

 

'Well, could you, uh, go ahead and execute it?'

 

'You make it sound like I'm _killing_ it. I'm not taking it's _head_ off. Just the crown.'

 

'You know what I mean!' he growled. 'Hurry up about it!'

 

Aiming the boomerang, Ladybug got ready to throw it, but-

 

'I don't have a clear line of fire. The lasers are going to get in the way. I think they're coming from the.. elephant's trunk? Do you have a small rock or something that could, I don't know, block off the laser shooty bit?'

 

'I don't have a small rock, but I can make one.'

 

'What? Oh- wait, Chat, no! Don't do tha-'

 

'Cataclysm!'

 

He brought his hand down to the concrete of the street, obviously intending to break off a chunk of rock.

 

Nothing happened.

 

'What the-?!'

 

The.. elephant thing seemed to be distracted watching Chat, at least it had stopped with the lasers- so Ladybug seized her moment and threw the boomerang at its head. 

It returned with the little gold crown attached to it. She dropped it to the ground and stomped on it, purified the akuma, and walked towards the small child who sat where the pink elephant had been before. The child must have only been about three or four.

 

'Are you okay?' she asked.

 

Chat came up behind her. 

'All due respect, ma'am, but why were you an elephant?'

 

The girl started crying. 

 

'Hey, it's okay,' Ladybug whispered, shooting him a death glare.

 

She noticed the growing crowd of civilians and reporters nearby which always seemed to appear when an akuma attacked. 

 

'Can you see someone you know in that crowd of people?'

 

The girl pointed to a man.

'That's my dad,' she said.

 

The man ran forwards and picked up his daughter.

'Thank you so much for saving her, Ladybug!' he exclaimed and turned to leave, whilst Chat stood behind her undoubtedly rolling his eyes because she was getting all the credit _again_.

 

Before the group of journalists and the like could intercept them, Ladybug took Chat by the wrist and dragged him away.

 

Once they were away from all the people round the back of an abandoned building, she heard her earrings give a final bleep and felt herself detransform.

 

'Hey!' Chat muttered, rubbing his wrist. 'I wanted to know why she was an elephant.'

 

'Uh huh.'

 

Marinette took a deep breath. She knew he was probably about to ask about his-

 

'Weird how my Cataclysm didn't work out there, right?'

 

Here goes. 

 

His voice was accusatory and a little guarded. 

 

'Don't suppose you had anything to do with that?'

 

She shrugged.

'I.. don't know what you're talking about.'

 

'Cataclysm!' Chat yelled, hand in the air.

 

Nothing. 

 

'That's what I'm talking about.'

He went quiet for a moment before muttering "claws in".

 

'Marinette!' he groaned. 'What did you doooooo?!'

 

'I'm _sorry_ , Adrien,' she snapped. 'But Cataclysm is _dangerous_. And you know how you are at the minute... we don't want anyone getting _hurt_.'

 

'The kid's right, you know,' Plagg added helpfully. Tikki had already hidden in Marinette's bag to avoid the arguing.

'Disabling the ring was the only thing we could do.'

 

'Disable- dis- dis _able_? I can't- I didn't even-even- _someone could've gotten hurt,_ huh? What about me? _I_ could've gotten hurt! I could've gotten _killed_! I could've- ugh, whatever!'

 

Adrien stormed off around the building and down the street; his kwami shrugged and followed after him.

 

Marinette sighed. She knew she probably shouldn't have used Lucky Charm- it could upset the status quo, or something. But she couldn't battle evil without it. 

 

And even though Adrien seemed better, almost completely different when he was transformed, she still knew it wasn't safe for him to use Cataclysm in his current state of mind.

 

She still felt a smile creep on to her lips when she saw him storming off, though.

 

It looked more like sashaying than storming to be honest, and she couldn't help but think about how good he looked in her skirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But he isn't Okay, is he?
> 
> T_T why do I do this 
> 
> Aaaaand Mari makes more dumb decisions -_-
> 
> Hehehe anyways, hopefully you liked this chapter! As always, feedback is very appreciated (does that even make sense) and I'm @protectchatnoir on tumblr if ya wanna find me there ;)
> 
> Thanks so much to everyone who's sticking with me through this thingy :D  
> Well, see you Monday! ☆


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He pretends to be okay, and she isn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [gasps in french]  
> This... this is... this. This is a fun chapter.
> 
> oooooooh this is actually one of my fave chapters so enjoy!
> 
> WARNING: rants and shouts prevail, language, it's angry every other word is in italics, also mentions of abusive parents

Chapter Nineteen

 

Adrien stormed all the way back to Marinette's house with her skipping to keep up a few paces behind. He wasn't _angry_ exactly, he just had a lot on his mind. And he didn't really feel better, but he had to make sure that Marinette thought he was fine. It wasn't fair to make her worry about him anymore.

Fighting had helped. It had centred his mind and grounded him a little, helping him forget the scary thoughts and go back to being himself. But now that he was Adrien again, the floodgates were starting to crumble. Still, although he wasn't angry, it totally wasn't fair of them to disable Cataclysm. How was that even possible, anyway? It could have got him killed. He could be dead by now, all because she didn't trust him enough to use his powers. 

Well, maybe he shouldn't be trusted to use Cataclysm. It was a very dangerous power. It had killed Nino.

And maybe he shouldn't be trusted either way. Marinette was dead, and he hadn't even been transformed when he'd killed _her._ He hadn't  _needed_ cataclysm to kill her.

 

Adrien shook his head as hard as he could. No! Marinette was not dead, she was right behind him. She was _Ladybug_. When he'd killed her, Marinette and Ladybug were both there. Impossible, if they were one and the same. 

It was just so _confusing_. The fading permanent marker on his arm told he was a murderer, but if it was physically impossible for Ladybug and Marinette to be together (which it was), perhaps his classmate's murder had been no more than a dream- a twisted nightmare. 

But it had felt so _real_.

 

The boy was shaken from his thoughts as he felt a hand rest on his shoulder.

 

'Adrien? You okay?'

 

Whether she was dead or not, he needed to make Marinette believe that he was fine, so he just nodded and smiled.

 

'Good! That's, uh.. yeah, shall we... go inside?' she asked uncertainly. 

 

He blinked slowly as he realised they had reached the Dupain-Cheng bakery already. 

 

'Oh!' Adrien said, sounding a little more surprised than he'd intended. 'Oh, um, sure.'

 

Marinette stepped forward, a slightly confused smile on her face, and unlocked the door.

'Ooookay. Well, we should probably eat something, so.. I can order pizza I guess?'

 

He nodded again, deciding it was probably best not to say anything in case he screwed up somehow, seeing as he was apparently very good at doing just that recently. Screwing up. Screwing everything up, all the time. Letting his father down, as usual. Ending up in hospital- jeez, that was dumb. Accidentally revealing his identity. Nearly losing his miraculous. Being so untrustworthy that Marinette and Master Fu had actually put a child lock on his ring. Ruining everything.

 

'Okay,' the bluenette sighed. 'Well, you can head on upstairs and I'll call for a pizza. I'll be up with you in a minute. Oh, your clothes are drying in the bathroom, they should be dry by now.'

 

Nodding, Adrien trailed up the stairs into the apartment and perched slightly awkwardly on the sofa, before deciding he would probably feel safer in Marinette's room, so he collected his clothes and went up there instead, and flopped onto the couch.

 

He was beginning to feel dizzy from constantly nodding and tired from fighting earlier and angry about them disabling Cataclysm and sad because did he really have a home to go to? And confused about whether Marinette was dead or not, and frustrated because nothing even made sense anymore, and stressed because there was _just no way_ he could let _anyone_ see his true feelings ever again because it always got him in a huge mess, more confusion as he watched the small black and purple butterfly slip in through the window, and a sudden feeling of terror as Adrien realised what it was and what it meant.

 

And then nothing.

 

***

 

What Marinette did not expect was a certain girl bursting through the bakery door as she dialled the pizza guy's number.

 

'Alya?' she exclaimed. 'What- what are you doing here? You really shouldn't be here.

 

The bluenette placed a hand on each of her best friend's shoulders and pushed her backwards, back towards the door.

 

'Okay nice seeing you bye!'

 

'Mari, wait!'

Alya shrugged Marinette's hands away and brushed herself down.

'I _really_ need to talk to you. I hate to say it, but you have kinda gone all crazy wacko screwball and I'm worried about you. And Adrien.'

 

'What?!' Marinette hissed. 'Adrien?! Hello? I'm _helping_ him. His dad is _abusive_ , Alya! He needs me.'

 

'Yeah, I know. But it could get you in trouble, and you've been acting off lately, so quite frankly I'm worried for his safety.'

 

'What?! I can't believe you're actually saying this! You think _I'm_ the one putting Adrien at risk?'

 

A sudden loud crash came from above, and Marinette laughed nervously. 

 

'I'm not saying you're putting him at risk, girl, just that you're not a medical professional and you can be a liiiiittle bit forgetful sometimes. If you forgot to give him food, say-'

 

'What?! Alya, I was literally ordering food right before you barged in to accuse me of-'

 

Another crash sounded upstairs, and Alya pushed past her.

'That's it, I'm going up.' The brunette marched up the first few steps before Marinette grabbed her arm and turned her around.

 

'Alya, you are being _unreasonable_. Adrien is safe with me, and you have no right to jump in and jump to conclusions-'

 

What Marinette _definitely_ did not expect was the Sharp sting across her cheek as her best friend slapped her..

 

'You don't _get_ it!' Alya yelled. 'I am _trying_ to _protect_ you! Both of you! Because that boy is probably half insane, judging from what I saw of him before he _ran away from home_! He is in _danger_ , Marinette, and needs help! And no, not your cheap-ass lame teenage help, I mean a doctor, a therapist, a fucking _psychiatrist_! And I'm trying to protect _you_ from getting _arrested_! In all honesty, _you_ are the one who is being unreasonable!'

 

' _You're_ the one who doesn't _get_ it, _Alya_!' Marinette screamed back. 'I am trying my _hardest_ to help him! I've been skipping school! Hell, I was nearly corrupted by power when I went to find his ring. And, yeah, I am getting him the help that he needs! But it is very _difficult_ for me to find him help because know one can know that he's Chat Noir! And that's why I took him to Master Fu today, because he's the only one who can help Adrien whilst still knowing both of our identies! I had to get Tikki to disable his powers, Alya! Do you have _any_ idea how fucking _hard_ that was for me? I had to take away his last defence mechanism because I couldn't trust him not to _kill_ me! I had to use Lucky Charm without his Cataclysm to balance it, and who _knows_ what that's done to the status quo, or whatever the hell makes these things work. I had to watch him struggle to remember if he'd _killed me_ or not, because, yeah, he thinks I'm dead! I'm the only one who _can_ help him, Alya, because no one else _cares_! I'm the only one who actually _gives_ a shit! And Adrien's lame-ass excuse for a father is sending "search parties", oh, hooray, sure, that'll help the boy who can't even remember his own _name_! So before _judging_ me, Alya, and assuming I'm doing this because of some _stupid_  creepy teenage crush, think twice! Think again! Because this is not _about_ that. This is not about my feelings, and this has gone _way_ beyond teenage stuff. This is about things adults should be dealing with, not me! I'm _fourteen_ , and yet I save the world on a fucking weekly basis! You have _no_ idea what it's like for me, and this has absolutely nothing to do with you. So before you decide that what I'm doing isn't what's best for _him_ , look at the _facts_ , Alya, and _think_. Just think. Think what it's like for me, because I have no freaking clue as to what I _can_ do, let alone what I should do. So maybe just _think_ before deciding you know what's best for me. Think fast, because I'm trying to  _save his g_ _oddamn life,_ and I have no idea how much longer he can last! How much longer  _I_ can last! And think before deciding what's best for him. Because, yes, medical help _would_ be best. But it's _impossible_. Without revealing everything and putting Paris in danger!'

 

Only then did Marinette realise she'd just revealed everything and potentially put Paris in danger.

 

'Shit.'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHHHHAAAAATTTT?!?!!
> 
> Ha.. I'm okay.  
> Well, Mari kinda deserved that tbh  
> So umm.. that was.. intense
> 
> And I'm just gonna leave you hanging here til Friday ;D 
> 
> Find me on tumblr @protectchatnoir


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And things sort themselves out (kinda)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, chapter twenty. Le gasp! Haha anyways hope y'all enjoy this chapter!
> 
> WARNING: blood, lots of ranting hehe.. slightly inferred suicide reference- as in, someone wondering if someone else killed themselves- probably not triggering or anything I just wanted to flag it up in cases, mentions of Gabriel's shitty parenting, oh and a liiiiittle bit of swearing ;)

Chapter Twenty

 

'Shit, oh crap, Alya, can you just forget everything I just said?'

 

'Lucky... Charm? _Ladybug's_ Lucky Charm?'

The brunette lamely raised her hand to point at her.

'You're... you're- you- you're-'

 

Her arm dropped back down to rest at her side.

 

'Alya, oh my god... you weren't supposed to know, I wasn't supposed to tell you. Oh, god, please just forget I ever said anything.'

 

Alya's mouth hung open, her eyes glaze in shock. Her cheeks were dampened with tears.

 

'You... you're-'

 

Reaching up to self consciously fiddle with her earrings, Marinette nodded. Tears rolled freely down her face as well- she wasn't sure when she had started crying, but it must have been relatively early on in her yelling.

'Yeah, I'm...'

 

Her friend blinked, stunned.

'You... you're... say it.'

 

'Say what?'

 

'That you're.. I need to hear it from your mouth.'

 

'Oh. I'm... I'm Ladybug.'

 

'A-and Adrien..?'

 

'Is Chat Noir. Alya, I'm sorry, I wasn't supposed to tell you, I didn't mean to... I'm sorry for shouting at you, and I know it's not an excuse, I just- I'm just under so much pressure and stress right now, and-'

 

Alya moved forwards to hug her friend.

'It's okay, Marinette. God, I'm sorry, I can't believe I was so _dense_! Of course it was _you_. And Adrien, and... oh my gosh, I'm so sorry for yelling at you like that! If I had known what you were going through..'

 

Marinette moved out of the hug, nodding shakily. 

'I know. It's okay. I mean- Alya, are you okay? You don't look so good.'

 

Her friend's hands were shaking and her eyes were uncannily wide.

 

'I'm fine.. just a little shocked. I don't... I should probably sit down.'

Alya gave a tremulous laugh.

 

'Okay. Um..'

 

The bluenette took her friend by the arm and led her up the stairs into the apartment. She sat her down on the couch before grabbing a glass of water from the kitchen and bringing it to her. Alya sipped slowly, her hands shaking. 

 

'Thanks,' she muttered.

 

'It's okay. Are you.. okay now?'

 

'I guess. But Marinette, you're not okay. And neither is Adrien. It isn't _fair_. You guys- you're so stressed out, and come on, don't get me started on Adrien. Look at him, seriously. From what I saw at school before the boy _ran away from home_ , he is in an awful state mentally.'

 

'I know. It's all my fault, I got us into this stupid mess.'

 

'No, you didn't. It isn't your fault.'

Alya turned to face Marinette as she sat down beside her.

 

'It's not your fault, it's whoever gave you these stupid super powers. It's so unfair! You're just _kids_ , Marinette. We're just kids. And here you are, you and Adrien, saving the world- it's not _fair_! And you also have to deal with school, and everything else... come _on_! You're _fourteen_! And you're going up against a supervillain, who, let's face it, is probably some lame-ass rich guy who doesn't even have to work! Two teenagers against a psychopathic adult? It is not fair. And you're so _strong_ \- that's why I've always admired Ladybug- why I always admired  _you_ \- because she- because you're always so strong. You fight, and you do great, but in the end, what will happen? Two teenagers who are doing their best, but will it ever be enough? It's a sinking ship, Mari. Because he's always keeping you on your toes, and you- _both of you_ \- just can't keep it up. Look at Adrien. How much longer will he last? And how much longer will _you_ last? This Hawkmoth freak probably doesn't have any other responsibilities, so here you are, dealing with a load of _crap_ , and he is pushing you to your limits, all the time. And if he wins, then what happens? Paris is taken over by a crazy homicidal maniac man in a butterfly suit? Then what? You just..  _die_? You never get to live an ordinary life like everyone else? And if, by some miracle, you do stay strong. What then? You just keep fighting for the rest of your lives? Fighting _for_ your lives? It's a losing battle. You just can't keep it up.'

 

Marinette was silent, letting her friend's words sink in. Although they had been very harsh and negative, they were also very true. She and Adrien _couldn't_ keep fighting forever. And although the akuma attacks had been less frequent lately, it was still dangerous for them.

They were just _kids_.

 

And then Marinette remembered something. In the two weeks when Adrien had been in hospital, she hadn't needed to fight any akumas at all. Perhaps their nemesis had known Chat Noir was unable to fight, and had taken pity? Yet somehow Hawkmoth didn't seem like the type of person to take pity.

Or maybe... 

 

'Alya, what did you say about Hawkmoth?'

 

The brunette frowned.

'Uhh.. crazy homicidal maniac man in a butterfly suit?'

 

'No, before that.'

 

'He's keeping you on your toes?'

 

'No..'

 

'Psychopathic adult? Lame-ass rich guy?'

 

'Yes!'

 

Marinette jumped to her feet. 

'That's _it_! Alya, Hawkmoth didn't send a single akuma when Adrien was in hospital. Maybe it was a coincidence. But what if he _couldn't_ send any akumas during those two weeks? What if he was too busy _visiting his son in hospital_?'

 

Alya raised her eyebrows.

'Girl, are you accusing _Gabriel Agreste_ of being a _supervillain_? _The_ Gabriel Agreste?'

 

'Yes!' she exclaimed. 'It makes perfect sense. I mean, I've had my suspicions about him before, but since he was akumatized, I assumed it was impossible. But what if he _akumatized himself_? To throw people of his trail? And it would explain so much. I mean, how often do you see the man? He's always locked away in his house, always so cold to Adrien..'

 

Her friend nodded slowly.

'It... would make sense. But I swear Gabriel probably didn't even visit Adrien in hospital. Even so... he  _would_ have had a lot on his mind. Maybe enough to distract him from... evildoing. But we need to know for certain before we tell Adrien, right? Hey, where is Adrien? That crashing upstairs earlier-'

 

Alya couldn't even finish her sentence before Marinette bounded up the stairs to her room. 

 

'Adrien? Adrien! Where are you?'

 

He was no where to be seen. The entrance up to her balcony was wide open and cold wind filled the room. Marinette turned to Alya as she followed into her room.

 

'He isn't here!'

 

Alya gasped. 'What do you _mean_ he isn't here? Check the balcony!'

 

The two girls rushed to the balcony, but he wasn't there either.

 

'Do you think he... jumped?' Alya murmured.

 

Trying to hold back her tears, Marinette shook her head fiercely.

'No. No way. He's been so much better today, I don't see why he would-'

Cautiously the girl moved to the railings and leant over, searching the street below for any sign of Adrien. She sighed in relief upon seeing no trace of the boy. He was gone, which was terrible. But at least there was a chance of him being alive. 

The sun had set long before, it had been getting dark whilst they were still at Master Fu's massage shop. And now only the faintest traces of light lingered in the sky. Marinette remembered back to the day when she'd confessed her crush to Adrien, and he'd told her that he loved someone else. Of _course_. Ladybug. Chat Noir loved Ladybug. It had been her all along. Adrien had loved her all along. That night, it felt like things could never get worse. But here she was, almost a month later, in the same place. And things were worse. Things were so much worse. Her friend, her partner, the boy she _loved_ was gone. She was supposed to be looking after him, and he was gone.

And what was worse was that she had no idea where he could be. He didn't have anywhere _to_ go, did he?

 

'Alya, we need to find him. We need to find him _now_.'

 

'Listen, I know you're worried about him, but we can't go searching now. It's dark, and it will be super difficult to find him. Plus, Paris can be pretty dangerous at night..'

 

'Exactly! It can be _dangerous_. He could be in danger, Alya! And, you forget. I have my miraculous?'

 

Her brunette friend facepalmed. 'Of course. You're Ladybug. Duh. Sorry, I just.. it's a little weird.' Alya chuckled. 'Well, maybe you will be safe, but it's so dark, it'll be hard to see. Can't we was until morning?'

 

Marinette sighed. 'It isn't that dark.'

 

'It will be soon.'

 

'Flashlights.'

 

'No.'

 

'Alyaaa!' she whined. 'Adrien-'

 

'Stay here! I'll sleep over if you want. We can call for that food you were going to order. Then we will go to school tomorrow- _no arguing_ \- and we'll look for Adrien during our lunch break.'

 

She wanted to protest, but Marinette knew how stubborn her friend could be, so let herself be dragged back indoors.

'Okay. I'm ordering pizza, and then we're sleeping. But I'll have you know, I am _not_ happy about this plan. I want to find Adrien.'

 

Alya patted her arm and made herself comfortable on the couch as Marinette dialed the pizzeria number for the second time that evening.

~

In the morning, the two girls woke up later than intended, but still made it to school on time after grabbing a bag of croissants to share between them. Once they reached the school building, Marinette lingered outside the door, wondering whether she should make an excuse about needing to use the bathroom and bailing on school altogether.

But apparently Alya read her thoughts, because she took the bluenette's wrist and led her into the classroom, sliding into her usual seat and beckoning for Mari to follow.

'Come on, girl!' she whispered. 'We'll find him later!'

 

Marinette bit her lip, feeling guilty about not going to find him now. But she knew Alya was probably right- she needed to be at school.

At that moment the low hum of chatter throughout the room dulled as Ms. Mendeleiev entered.

'Alright, class,' the teacher began, taking her seat at the front. 'Today you will be getting back the math papers which we did last lesson. Have a look at how you did, and then we'll be going through the correct answers. Miss Bourgeois, would you please hand out the exam papers?'

 

Chloe sighed and got to her feet, grabbed the stack of tests and slowly sauntered around the room, making no effort to hurry with her task.

When the students received their tests, a few groaned, and the general chatter rose up again as they started discussing their scores.

 

Nino turned around to face Alya and Marinette, looking rather stressed as well as sleep deprived.

'Did you hear about Adrien?' he asked urgently.  

'No, what about him?' Marinette lent forwards intently. 'What happened?'

 

'Apparently someone saw him- or someone who looked like him- late last night, around the time of the akuma attack!'

 

The bluenette felt her blood run cold as she and Alya exchanged a terrified glance.

 

'Akuma attack? There was an akuma attack?! Why did I not know about this?' Alya demanded. 

 

Nino shrugged. 'I don't know. But Ladybug and Chat Noir never showed, and I heard a load of people were injured.'

 

Marinette felt sick. People had been hurt because of her. If she'd been there to fight whatever Hawkmoth had thrown at them this time, everyone would be fine. Alya's words from the night before rang in her ears. She was right: they couldn't keep it up. It was a losing battle, and people were getting hurt.

 

She thrust her arm in the air.

'Excuse me, Ms. Mendeleiev? Please may I go to the bathroom?'

The teacher frowned. 'Really, Marinette? Class has only just started. Couldn't you have gone before?' She sighed. 'Fine, you can go. But make it quick.' Marinette stood up, about to leave.

 

'Mari!' Alya hissed. 'Don't even think about-'

 

She was interrupted by the door bursting open and slamming into the wall behind.

In the classroom's entrance stood a boy who Marinette knew the face of so well- and yet he looked so different. So vulnerable, so scared, so traumatised. A haunted, terrified face, which also happened to be covered in blood. 

 

'Adrien!' Marinette gasped.

 

His clean white shirt which she'd washed the day before was stained dark red, and so where his jeans. The boy's hands trembled as he fell to his knees in the doorway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~THE END~
> 
> I'll leave the rest up to your imagination ;D 
> 
> OKAY OKAY I'M JOKING PLEASE DON'T KILL ME xD  
> There is a second part to this story, maybe a third and fourth after that but I'm just not sure yet. Part two is already ready to go up, but, because I'm pure evil (mwahahahahaa) I'm making y'all wait on this cliffhanger for a while ;)
> 
> Part two is going to be up soon, same schedule as before, Mondays and Fridays. I'm not sure yet when pt2 chapter 1 will be up, probably in the next couple of weeks, maybe around Christmas idk  
> But when part two goes up, the first few chapters will go up together before it resumes the usual update schedule.
> 
> Thank you so, so much for all of your feedback and kudos and stuff, it means so much to me and really inspires my writing!! It really was a pleasure writing and posting this, and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> Until part two, byeeee! :D 
> 
> Find me on tumblr @protectchatnoir


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